Malaysia vs Singapore

Ohai I'm back in Malaysia for a bit. So the singapore counter will be stopped for a moment.

Let's take this opportunity to tackle an issue.

Dear Readers From Kennysia:
There is a sudden influx of curious readers thanks to Mr Kennysia who pimped my blog last week (Thanks KS). No doubt that most of you readers are new to my blog and are highly likely to be Singaporean. Not just any singaporean, but a very young, loyal one. So you expect nothing but praises about your great your country. Hahaha. HAHAHA. Hah. Obviously that is not that case here. As such, I sense that most of you are very upset (in a controlled way) about how much I bitch about Singapore because you don't know jackshit about me or my style of writing. But I am generous and kind, so I'll give you a quick explanation of how this silly little blog works.

Please be assure that as much as I bitch about Singapore, I bitch about Malaysia as much if not more. Eventhough you don't see that much in my "Singapore Days" posts but in my every other BAU (business as usual) posts I bitch about Malaysia. It's just the way I am. I BITCH ABOUT EVERYTHING. So if my style of writing irks you, and you feel the strongest urge to stab my eyeballs with a pen after reading my posts, please do yourselves and your blood presure a favour by just going away. This goes for you too, new Malaysian readers who are upset when I bitch about our beloved tanahair. If you can't take the sarcasm or the causticness or the crude unfunny jokes, just fuck off lah. I'm not in desperate need of your eyeballs. Or the traffic. Or the money from the traffic, okay? We're clear? Good.

Regular blog transmission:
I now understand why Malaysians and Singaporeans are always bitching about how each other's country not being good enough. How we don't do that as much to the other countries we visit. The problem is that we were once a country, and at some point of time shared the same history, culture, food, people, everything. I suppose when everything looks the same, feels the same, it's not wonder people expect things to be the same. And the problem is that it can't because eventhough we are similar, we are not exactly alike. In fact, we have not been a country for over 40 years!

At the end of the day, we should learn how to manage our own expectations of each other's country. But until that day comes, the bitching will continue. Which is perfectly fine by me. :)

My mum commented how healthy I looked. Not in the fatter sense, but in the "better skin" sense. It's probably because of the clean Singapore air. Which I'm really starting to miss. Meanwhile, I'm home stuffing my face with our overly tasty food. I miss our unhealthy junk. YUmmy yummy yum yum. Ok this blogging thing is taking too much time away from my eating. Less blog, more face stuffing. Kthxbai.

Day 11: MOS, Chang Kee, McCafe, Bordersm Emerald Hill & Orchard

Finally had my first taste of MOS cheeseburger (not the rice one)! Okay which one of you jokers told me it was the greatest thing ever? Come here and say that to my face so I can freaking punch your face in you bitch, hehe! It's very, very salty. So salty that my tongue feels like it's been scraped with sandpaper made out of rock salt. Why is food here like opposite extremes one. Either tasteless or too damn salty. Yeah I know you guys always complain that our sauces are too thick, too sweet, too salty too much msg, too herbally, too spicy, basically just too much of everything. But we at least got variety lah... here it's just fucking SALTy, or no taste. As the guys from icanhascheezburgr say, Ur doin' it rong!!11

Also tried an Old Chang Kee curry puff today. Haih. Pastry too thick and dry. Inside no chicken. Only potato and a hint of curry taste. SO SAD LOH. Some more supposed to be famous wei. Curry puff also cannot run away from being "sanitised" ar. :*( I'm wondering if Chang Kee curry puffs are something locals will never eat and it's more of a tourist con thing? Is it?!?!? Tell me the truth!!!!!

I was walking pass Shaw Centre today and I couldn't believe it when I saw a McCafe. What the hell is a McCafe? It's a freaking coffee house by Mcdonalds. Yeah the one that brought you all the Mcmeals. The cafe was FILLED with customers and people were actually lining up for their coffee!!!! Something is wrong with the picture lah. I mean a fastfood joint selling coffee what has the world come to? Next thing you know they'll be selling books, apparels, compiling music CDs and coming up with their own cocktails. Mcbooks. Mcclothes. Mcmusic. Mccocktail. If we don't stop it now Mcdonalds will take over the WORLD!!!! We'll all live in a MCWORLD! NOOOO!!!

I spent some time at Borders (packed packed packed) because it was raining outside. Scott Adams came up with a new book, which is basically a compilation of all his blog entries from his website. I love it. He is too funny! I plopped myself next to the China fiction section and laughed by myself every 5 and a half minutes or so, and after awhile I realised the parameter surrounding me was considerably emptier. Oh well If they can't take someone enjoying a book then fuck them.

Walked along the stretch of Emerald Hill to check out the Peranakan houses. They were pretty, and very well maintained. It's like what you'll see in some areas from KL and Melaka, except cleaner. Bugged Mr. Niamah while he was eating his bak kut teh @ the Canteen. I just had to ask how it was, and we all know the response to that :P. (Aiyak.. did I thank you for the drink ar? So rude so rude! THANK YOU!!!) Also finally walked the entire stretch of Orchard Road today. Malls, malls, malls. All selling the same homogenic stuff. People people people everywhere! People tend to overdress to go out shopping here don't they?

I'm so tired of crowds man. Weekday have to fight with a sea of working people. Weekend have to fight with a sea of shopping people. Don't you guys get ever get tired of this?

Time for bed, nights!

Day 09 & 10: Mos, Brewerks, Clark Quay, Friends, & Shopping

Saturday:
I wanted to try Mos burger on Friday but the damn shop was closed. Closed at 8.30pm!!!! A bit too early right! -_-" This means that I still haven't tasted the damn burger yet. It's being very elusive!!! GRrr. Saya pantang dicabar!!!!

I had the most awesome Subway Melts for lunch. REAL. PIG. BACON. = HEAVEN. I almost died. Almost. Then was brought back to earth by the saltiness of the ham which kinda killed the mindblowing out of the world bacon experience for me.

So I was at Brewerks yesterday and the beer is still pretty awesome. Was there to just chill, read my book and have a couple of beers. It's such a nice place to be at. The singapore river just on my right and the view of the refurbished pre-war buildings of clark quay right next to it. A long time blog stalker came by to say hi. We had an awesome conversation but he had to rush off earlier. He seems very normal in person, so I was glad for the company. Hehehe I know you're reading this so hi! After paying for the pint and a mug later (no service charge! woot! is it the norm to leave tips? uh oh being the cheap malaysian I didn't leave much kekeke.) to take a quick stroll around Clark Quay.

Did you know that in Clark Quay they have these giant steel structures which act as shades for the surrounding area? What I want to know is this - why hasn't anyone noticed that these giant steel structures look like ginormous steel DICKS? At a certain angle it even look like it has a couple of balls. GIANT PENISES. BIG BIG DICKS. At least 10 of them were completely surrounding the area. And NO ONE even thought that those phallic steel things looked like DICKS? Highly fucking impossible. If you have never seen them, you must go there right NOW. Have a look and tell me that those don't look like penises to you! I refuse to believe that my mind is the only one that's fucked up. Hell, you don't even need a fucked up mind to know that those things look like giant penises. THEY ARE SO IN YOUR FACE.

Clark Quay looks like a nicer and a combination of Bangsar One/Asian Heritage Row/The Curve. Plenty of boutique restaurants and classy drinking joints - very touristy. There's even a Hooters.... which isn't that great because the girls who work there don't have the assets which Hooters are very well known for. But they do wear the really short corny tight shorts, at least.

Sunday:
Today, I spent half the day with my high school mate who has been here for 10 years which practically makes her Singaporean (hehehe don't kill me ar). We walked and walked and walked... and I wasn't sure where we went exactly but we did end up in the National Musuem (?). There wasn't much to see and I was too cheap to pay for admission for the more interesting exhibitions. The musuem did look really pretty though. A lot of thought was put into making it really artsy and nice. Which was such a waste because inside, there really wasn't much going on. Makes me wonder how museums from other countries are REALLY like. Our own national musuem sucks ass, as far as I can remember. But I've only been there once, which was 16 years back, haha.

It's so easy to walk around here. It's probably due to the general cleanliness of the place. Less traffic. Less smog. Less dirt. It's And the fact that it was relatively cool, cloudy day, helped a lot too. My friend and I had a long chat about everything, and it was really nice because we haven't really chatted in a long time. Been awhile since I've met up and hung out with any of my old school friends.

We walked pass many tiny little boutiques and came across a shop that had a bazaar going on. Scored myself a really gorgeous body hugging long, black cheongsam for an amazing price of SGD10. EVen after conversion it was a steal. Couldn't believe that it was so cheap so spent a long time trying to look for flaws on it. Nothing!! Bought it and left happy. :)

So we popped by Funan Digital Mall. It looks like cleaner, brighter, more organised version of Imbi. But like Imbi, you just can't run away from the damned overplayed fengtau songs blasting from sound systems everywhere, argh killmenow. We checked out the apple shop..... is 600 Sing for an Ipod touch cheap ar? :P We stopped by this shop which was apparently a favourite among the locals - Soong brothers? The salesguy was really trying to push the Panasonic Lumix FS5 camera to me. SGD 548 worth it or not? He'd throw in an 8gb extra memory, extra batt and some useless mini tripod. I checked on the Panasonic Malaysia retail that it should retail for only RM1099 something. If that's really the case then I might as well buy it in Msia!!!!! Cis. Tipu me. Berani engkau!

Had the chance to sit in the public bus. Buses here don't emit black smoke, are pretty clean and are aplenty. I even saw a woman driving a bus which was a very rare sight indeed. There are never any woman bus drivers in Malaysia. But of course, at rush hour, it'd be packed like sardines and you'd end up smelling other people's sweat dripping from their armpits and having people violating your personal space, which is a given anywhere. The bus routes and system here actually WORKS. What are they doing right which Malaysia is doing so wrong? We can't keep falling back to the whole "our country is bigger" excuse anymore lah, it's getting really embarassing.

Grabbed a bus to Selegie to meet another friend who owns a comicbook shop in the Peace Centre. Selegie was FILLED with migrant Indian workers. It felt like I was in INDIA. At the corner mamak shop every single table was occupied with Indians. And the Peace Centre? Holy cow. One of the dodgiest buildings I've seen so far in Singapore. Lots of dodgy looking places which I bet is filled with GROs and unlegalised prostitution dens. The place was just reaking with the aura of seediness. Thank god my friend was there, I wouldn't have felt safe being there on my own.... OHMYGOD this means I have finally found a place in Singapore which I don't feel safe in!!!

I had dinner at the Heartlands (FINALLY! THE REAL LOCAL SCENE!).. at some place called Ghimmoh Road, which is apparently the "higher class" HDB area, where we had "tai chow" and lots of beer. Should I really tell you how the food is? Or can you already guess it? BLAND BLAND BLAND. You know what I really hate about food here. It's not that it's bland. It's that it looks exactly like what it looks like back home and even smells like how it smells like back home. So there is already a certain level of expectation that it'll taste like what it tastes like back home. That's the worst bit. When you expect it to be something when it is completely NOT. Because after you had the first taste of the deliciously looking food all your expections crumble down like a pack of cards which got hit by a typhoon. Your heart sinks into your stomach, and your stomach sinks into the ground, and you just feel cheated. Unfulfilled. It's NOT RIGHT TO LEAD SOMEONE ON LIKE THAT. Like a false promise, a tease. You can smell it, see it, but you can't taste it, baby. ARGH. FRUSTRATING LOH. YEARGH HULKRAGE STOMP FOOD!

Cat! I SAW A STRAY CAT! So cute curled up on a chair and sleeping! I guess the authorities didn't kill ALL strays, it missed this one hehehe. Even had the chance to use the toilet here - apart from it being wet, it wasn't an iffy toilet likes the ones we have back in KL which makes you want to vomit the moment you smell a whiff of it. Maybe if I go deeper into the heartland....

My friend did used a word to very appropriately describe everything about Singapore - clinical. Everything in Singapore is just so sanitised and controlled. I have to agree with that.

Fuck it's too damn late. Goodnight!

Day 08 (con't): Dragonfly Club

So I was asked to go check out Dragonfly which was one of the five (?) dance halls in Saint James Powerhouse Station. Each dance hall had a theme, and the one that we went to had a Cantopop theme. In between r&b and hiphop DJ spun music there were live performances by import Chinese and local artistes sing popular mandarin and Cantonese songs….and in case you were wondering, this is NOT my sort of thing and didn’t know about the venue until we were already there.

One big similarity between Singapore and Malaysian clubbing seen is that crowd control is absolutely non-existent. Learning from KY I made a quick note of alternative exit doors, just in case.

Best thing about Singapore clubbing scene is that there’s no smoking in the club. If you have to fag, you’ve got to take it outside. One thousand points for Singapore. But the good part stops there.

This is the second time I’ve been clubbing in Singapore. The first time really sucked for me and I think I’ve written about that some time back. This second time wasn’t that great either and the whole experience was quite awkward for me.

Guys were buying girls drinks (these are strangers), girls were happily accepting them and expecting more. Both guys and girl were role-playing all the time. The guys playing the male chauvinist macho man while the girls were very “manja”, feminine and act all cute-like. I never noticed this in Malaysian clubs, but it seems very evident here. And this is strictly based on the observations I made last night. Actually, I see this even in the daytime, but that’s a story for another day.

Another thing, when we go clubbing back in Malaysia we’d go in a group with a mix of boys and girls. Sometimes we don’t have a table, so we’d “tumpang” one of the group member’s friend’s table, and the whole group will join in. But here, the guys only allowed the girls to tumpang, and basically told the guys to fuck off. It’s quite sickening. After that, all the enthusiasm for clubbing in me completely went out the window. Talk about in your face biased selfishness.

Dragonfly (I keep thinking that it’s called grasshopper for some odd reason) has the tiniest dance floor ever. And this is me talking, the one who keeps bitching about how small Malaysian dance floors are. Dragonfly’s dance floor makes the smallest ones back home look like football fields.

Wait, let me tell you the most fucked up thing – do you know what Singaporeans mix their whiskey with? Believe it or not - Green tea. Green motherfucking tea. Not coke, not soda. But freaking green tea. Let me share with and assure you that this is the most foul tasting gunk ever. How to describe the taste… it tastes exactly like what you expect drain water to taste. Why the Singaporeans really love this horrible concoction will completely baffle the average human mind.

My group wanted to leave at 4am. I was ready to go at 2. I found out that the Dragonfly club closes at 6am – much to my disappointment. I had wanted the night to end early. Do all clubs in Singapore close at 6am?

This outing is very close to making me swear of all Singapore clubs. Maybe I’ve just been to the wrong clubs, met the wrong crowd. You know what they say, third time’s a charm.

Day 08: Strays, Being Malaysian, Mandarin, Mug & Sim Lim

You know I’ve always thought that there was something strange about the city area. I finally realized what it was. There are no strays here. No animals. No cats. Nor dogs. Nor rats. Nor birds. Oh wait, there are birds! I hear them amongst the trees at night, making their bird noises…. Hear them. But I don’t actually see them. For all I know, the sounds come from loudspeakers planted on trees to make us believe that they are other living creatures in the city besides us routine zombies. Hahaha, that actually sounds ridiculous, but this is Singapore leh (heh), it could actually happen! But yeah. If I don’t see the birds, they don’t exist. So where are all the strays at? Were they all caught and dumped in KL? Because there's plenty of strays back home!

Why do Singaporeans always ask me if I am Singaporean. -_- Are they not exposed to Malaysians enough to know that there are Chinese in Malaysia? And what is so different between how a Singaporean Chinese and a Malaysian Chinese girl apart from the trendier upmarket clothes and more makeup worn by the Singaporean Chinese? Can somebody explain this to me please?

While ordering food at a hawker stall one needs to constantly remember to order in mandarin. Otherwise they look at you weird. Not the hardest thing to do, but takes a lot of getting used to since most orders made in KL/PJ are made in Cantonese and hawkers there would look at you weird if you speak to them in Mandarin, prompting them to ask if you are from out of town, tempting them to charge you a wee bit higher because you might not know any better, haha.

For such a bustling city/street of activity, the shops here close too damn early. I was looking for food at about 9pm, but many shops in the CBD area were already closed for the day. At 8.30pm. Poor me went home hungry and decided I was too lazy to go out again, so had instant noodles accompanied by my trusty AXN for dinner.

I was exposed to a new brand of rootbeer at lunch. It’s called Mug and it tastes almost like ANW rootbeer… and speaking of ANW and I have not seen a single ANW shop in Singapore! Why ar? Ooh, I’m gonna go try a MOS burger for lunch today since everyone has been leaving comments on my blog raving how they are the greatest thing invented since…… toasted bread with kaya & butter. Wait, is there really anything greater than tosted bread with kaya & butter?

I’ll pop by Sim Lim to check out their wares soon. I really need to get my hands on a camera so I can start taking pictures. It’s so dull to just keep reading words right? I asked around and the feedback was that Sim Lim was Singapore’s answer to our Low Yat plaza. There’s another also, called Funan complex or something.

Despite how we used to be one nation, people here are a little different. In their behaviour, character and mentality. I still can't put my finger on it or articulate it, yet. It was quite evident when I was at a club last night, an upate which will be kept for the next post since this one is getting a little too long anyway. So wait for it. :)

Hmm, so what should I do today? Think I'll go for a pint at Brewerks. Oh shit. Now you know where to find this bitch if you want to pelt rotten perishables at her for slagging off your country. :P

Day 07: Bugs and Rain

Thanks for offering to be my guide/company and for enticing me with promises of free drinks/food/tour/not being psycho. We could do drinks this weekend or something, since I’ll be around. Anyone up for it? You pay for drinks, and I’ll smile a lot and try not to think about crushing your skull with my bare hands. :P

I think I’m catching a bug. The Singaporean bug. See, every time when I walk behind someone who’s walking too slowly I get agitated enough to want to stab the idiot in front of me with a pen. Or stare really hard at the back of his head, willing my irises to shoot out laser beams into the idiot’s skull, obliterating him into a mountain of dust. Ohmygod I better not lose it. Next thing you’ll know I’m looking forward to the weekends to shop along Orchard Road. ARgh stop me now before it’s too late!!!!

It’s been raining almost everyday here. My tiny umbrella isn’t working so good, might have to buy a new one soon before the rain rips it apart while I’m using it. Speaking of umbrellas, I came across this really cute thing which I’m certain will never happen in Malaysia. One shopping mall was offering umbrellas to passersby’s who had to cross the open road to get to the next one. So the passerby would be offered the umbrella, then he’ll use it to cross the road, once on the other side, he passes the umbrella back to the other guy who works at the other shopping mall. Cute concept no?

Heh. A couple of people thought I was no older than 24-25. Flattered like mad leh :P

And for some strange reason, I’ve always thought tortoises were amphibians. They look like they are more related to lizards, frogs and newts more than crocodiles don’t you think?

Goodnight!

Day 06: Changi, Bak Kut Teh, Pretty Bags

How does one know that they’ve touched down in Changi and not KLIA? Go to the toilet. Look for the toilet seat sanitizer. Try it. If it works, you’re NOT in KLIA. I know because I have tried many toilet stalls in KLIA in most of my trips to the airport. Not a single one of those thingamajigs work. But in Changi? The very first one worked, and every one I’ve tried after that, works too. Malaysia toilets 0 : Singapore toilets 1. Every other public toilet in Singapore I’ve visited was dry, filled with toilet tissues, doesn’t stink, is clean. Malaysia toilets 0 : Singapore toilets 4. Why can’t we fucking KEEP OUR TOILETS CLEAN. Singapore was once part of Malaysia! They can’t have evolved much more than us!!! This is completely unacceptable man!!! We have the internet, the twin towers, our own fucking national car(s), bluetooth technology, satellite tv and yet we can’t keep our toilets clean and in working order what kind of ridiculous third world fucked up tree-living mentality is this COME ON.

I’ve asked a few Singaporeans about the tissue paper thing, but until now, nobody can explain how it came about. Dissapointed. But I shall persevere.

Had bak kut teh for dinner today. Another disappointment. Well, it wasn’t as bad as the first time Singaporean bak kut teh I ever had, which was basically black pepper soup. Ugh. The bak kut teh I had tonight was almost like what we might have in Malaysia, except it’s a hundred times more diluted to the point where the herbal taste is nothing more than a subtle hint, a lingering memory of what it used to be. And you know what sucks the most. It smelt so good! It looked so good! But once you taste it… ARGHHH YOU ARE DOING IT WRONG. WHY MUST EVERY FREAKING PIECE OF SHIT FOOD I HAVE HERE TASTE SO BLAND WHY WHY WHY. HULKRAGE STOMP ON FOOD STALLS. Malaysia 10000 : Singapore -100000. One of the only 3 major reasons stopping me from liking Singapore too much is THE FOOD THE FOOD THE FOOD OHGODWHYYYYY WHYYYYYYYY ARE YOU GUYS NOT GETTING IT RIGHT!!!! Eating food here is like eating… water. There’s only so much bland food a Malaysian can take without having to suppress the strong of urge of killing yourself. Oh well. One man’s meat, is another man’s…. plain boiled water.

I noticed that in the business centre every other female is carrying some kind of high-end bag. Chanel, Coach, LV, Dior, Gucci. I bet if someone did a survey, they will find that almost every other woman owns at least 2-3 branded bags each. Fake or not. Problem is I don’t know if I should envy them. Work so hard. Spend so much time at work. Pour so much sweat, effort and blood into that deadline. Earn so much money. Buy more pretty things. It feels, rather empty and shallow. Sure it’s really nice to earn pretty things all the time – but is that really it? Earning money just to own a bunch of stuff? I know that the people behind multibillion dollar industry will tell you that I’m just a poor sad sour grape but I want more than just pretty things. I would love to have a bunch of niceties but at the end of the day, they are just things. Not experiences. Not value added. It doesn’t make me a better person (though it sure could make me a prettier person haha). But what does, really?

Work hard. buy stuff. work hard. buy stuff. work hard. buy stuff. how can we ever find real happiness like that ar?

I’m still holding on to the dream where I’d make enough money to start my travel around the world stint some day. So much to see. So much to taste. So much to experience. So much to learn. So much to blog about (hahaha). Some day. Soon, I hope. Soon.

Day 05: Cold Storage & Tissue Paper

Tarpaued 3 bucks of leftover sushi from cold storage and 1.20 worth of yoghurt for dinner tonight.
Feeling a little lonesome and tired, but it’s nothing some beer and cheesy satellite tv can’t cure. 

I can’t believe that freaking charge you extra 25 cents for chilled drinks. I will never, ever buy chilled drinks from Cold storage here anymore. 25 cents is like 60 over cents okay. Can make 6 minute phone call already, tiu.

I must tell you the strangest thing they do in Singapore. Here, when you want to go makan anywhere, you will inevitably find tissue packets on empty tables. Now, these tissue packets are not litter, neither were they left behind because it’s really cheap in Singapore and people can’t be bothered to remember to take their tissues with them. But it’s a curious system of … table reservations. That’s right. If you see tissue paper packets on tables, do not take it and throw it away. Instead, you need to go and look for another table as those tables with tissue packets are BOOKED. It’s rather strange how the people are generous enough to bother respecting tissue packets and letting it sit there as if it’s a person. Especially in a society as self-absorbed as this, haha. Can anybody explain to me how this came about? I’d be very disappointed if there is no interesting story of history behind this strange phenomenon.

Oh shit. It’s past 12 already, how can that be? It was only 10pm 10 minutes ago man, wtf. Damn. Time passes by too quickly when you’re multitasking and up to your neck with worries.

Goodnight!

Day 04 & 04.5: Subway, Anthems, Weekend Crowds, Borders, Karaoke

This was written on Sunday, while I was waiting for my flight back to Malaysia. For some unknown reason the wifi died while I was updating halfway and half of my post was eaten up by the cyber monster. Here are most of it anyway.

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At the airport bar right now using their wifi and er, having a pint of kilkenny. WHAT? It's 12.45pm already lah.
Didn't expect myself to go home so soon, but had to go back to settle some matters. Day counter will stop when I'm back home and resume when I go back to Singapore.

Couldn't believe my eyes when I found out that the Subway here was non-halal. Much to the chagrin of my Singaporean mates, I just had to have a Subway sandwhich with some PIG in it. It's not as if we don't get pork at home. It's just that we don't get pork in most of our fastfood franchises and when I do chance upon one that do I just HAVE to find out what I'm missing!! Most fastfood restaurants here are halal by the way, which I find kind of odd since Islam isn't the state religion. I heard that Carl's Juniors is non-halal thought, which whill obviously have to be checked out soon. Anyway, I had myself a Italian BMT or something, and the only difference between this and the halal version is that this one is much saltier. Guess I'm not missing too much.

It is confirmed. Most Singaporeans don't understand what their national anthems mean. For those unaware, their national anthem is in Malay and the only 2 words that they know is "majulah singapura". I have heard from a couple of friends from Singapore about this weird phenomenon but I just had to hear it from the horses' mouth. Nobody can explain to my why their national anthem is in malay though, other than because it's a legacy thing. Guys at NS barely understand what their commands mean either, because the commands are given out in malay. Hehe, this is both strange and funny at the same time.

Yesterday, I decided I'd take a walk along Orchard Road. Oh my god. The sea of people on the streets is enough to scare anybody off and have them hurrying backs to their homes. I swear if I sat in a helicopter which overs over Orchard Road it'll look like a sea of ants bustling around in some sort of an activity. I walked into Borders and it was PACKED like nobody's business, as if there's a warehouse sell going on.

I guess one thing both our nations have in common is that we all flock to shopping complexes on the weekends. Difference is that while we idly only congest the shopping aisles, and target shops on discount, the women AND men in Singapore pack into luxury high-end label shops, like it's on sale, when it isn't. There's a freaking queue outside the LV store and you know that LV never goes on sale. Kesimpulannya, either the 1)the average working Singaporean earns more than the average working Malaysian 2)things are so much cheaper for a Singaporean in Singapore than a Malaysian in Malaysia. Either way, it's bad for us. :(

There was a kiddy corner in Borders. A guy on his guitar and this girl singing and waving her hands about. The kids were happily imitating her, while their proud parents watched. It's sooo cute. Do we have this in Borders back home?

I had a quick karaoke session with my colleagues on Friday. Most of them (men included) did NOT touch a drop of alcohol. I couldn't for the life of me understand how one can be at a karaoke joint and not have alcohol. It's the only way you can tolerate other people's wonderful singing with a smile on your face, hahaha. And just in case any of them reads my stupid blog - no, you guys don't sing too badly. I guess that's why alcohol wasn't really necessary. :P

K lah. Time to go.

Day 03: Books, Emerald Hill & Incoming Calls

I'm walking so much to everywhere it's ridiculous. No wonder I'm so tired at night. I just pass out, sleep a dreamless sleep, and then wake up feeling as though an elephant had sat on me all night. But I'm glad I'm walking more - it's still some form of exercise and any form of exercise is good for my lazy, aging, disintegrating self. haha.

This is not just a singaporean phenomenon. More like a global stupid idiotic assholes movement. There's a special breed of people who insist on using the lift to go to just ONE floor. WHAT? Can't use the stairs? It's fine if it happens for just one floor, but if it happens at every other floor I'm ready to bash the next idiot's skull in with my bare hands. The only acceptable reason why anybody can do that without having their skulls bashed in is if they are on wheelchairs. Otherwise a curse of a thousand boils on your backside, asswipes.

Books are so much cheaper here. IF you are Singaporean. Imagine, a book by Barack Obama, "Dreams from my father" costs a Singaporean about SGD21.50 at Kinokuniya, while it costs a Malaysian about RM38.50 at MPH. Don't forget, a typical Singaporean earns much more than a tyical Malaysian. It's just simply unacceptable. Can somebody explain why they make it so expensive for us to want to instil the habit of reading in Malaysia? Isn't reading a GOOD thing? Shouldn't they encourage us to read by making books CHEAPER? Gah. I bought the book anyway. :)

I also wanted to get my hands on Jenna Jameson's "How to make love like a pornstar", which is an autobiography of her, and not freaking porn novel. Actually, it's an autobiography disguised as a porn novel, woot. I doubt I will ever find this in Malaysia and was dissapointed that they ran out of stock, haih.

Emerald Hill is always ALWAYS PACKED. I'm beginning to hate that place, in a sour grape sort of way. Too many people, too noisy, too many expats. Also plenty of locals. Didn't know Singaporeans were a bunch of alcoholics? Heh. A pint of draught Hoegaarden at a place called Ice Cold Beer (how very clever and original. geez. rolls eyes) costs about SGD19 nett. Typically it's about RM25 and above in Malaysia. Sigh. A can of Killkenny costs like SGD6 something. In Malaysia - WHAT KILKENNY CAN??!?! SIGH.

My god, do you want to know a random thing about Singapore? You freaking pay for incoming calls when you're on a prepaid plan. WHAT KIND OF CRAZY SHIT IS THAT. WHY DO THEY MAKE YOU PAY FOR CALLS OTHER PPL MAKE TO YOU. DON'T THEY ALREADY MAKE MONEY FROM PEOPLE WHO MAKE THE EXTERNAL CALLS. All the freaking phonelines do this. WHY. WHY. WHY. It completely boggles the tiny mind. But I bought myself a prepaid line anyway. It'll be cheaper than going on roaming. Now, on to get a really cheap basic phone.

Drinking my Puramilk now. Low far hi-cal type. OMG it tastes just like the original, and none of that weird articificial tasting milk we're so prone of drinking in Malaysia. Sigh. Sold by the milk. The milk the milk the milk. I'm a simple fellow with simple needs. :)

K lah. Tired d, goodnight.

Day 02: Old People Work Here

Wow. lots of really old retired people are actually working very hard here. Instead of putting them on welfare or homes the government here makes them work hard for the money. Good thing I guess. Keeps them active and give them a purpose in life, and a sense of independence. I guess.

People are always in a rush. I'm starting to walk as fast too. Hahaha.

Can't update anymore. Feeling too tired. Need to pass out. Thinks it's from all the walking. At least I'm exercising. :)

Goodnight.

Day 01: First Impressions

Updates in pointform! Because they are short and sweet and thanks to MTV everybody's attention span has been reduced to more or less a negative thousand.

Everything's so clean. All the signs are in English. So many Chinese people. It's very surreal.

Everything looks the same for some strange reason - it makes me feel so lost. I have absolutely no idea where I am.

The variety of shit in terms of products they have here is just mindboggling. WHy don't we have it in Malaysia too? WHY? We're just right on TOP.

Too hot. TOO HOT. It's not as if they don't have trees here. And both countries are on the khatulistiswa Must be the solar pollution from all the skyscrappers yang memantuli the cahaya to the ground.

It irks me like nobody's business when I hear people say "shook" instead of "syiok". Why why WHY do they insist on saying it as SHOOK?

My first lunch at some so-called popular hawker spot - pan mien. BLAND. I shudder at how my eating days here will be like. But dinner was okay - had tai chow near my place. Kailan and hotplate beef. Yum! Just feaking expensive though. :( Where to eat decent food in the city (besides fast food) but doesn't cost an arm and leg ar?

Bought some groceries at Cold Storage and OMG PURAMILKK!!!!!!!!111one. The first time I ever had one of those was more than 10 years ago! I hope there's no melanine in this sucker because I happily grabbed a carton and am now quivering in anticipation to have a taste of it.

KILLKENNY IN CANS. ZOMG. GRAB IT.

I actually bought some grapes - trying to do the healthy thing early because I KNOW later on I won't give 2 fucks anymore.

Kept converting all my SGD purchases into RM, can't help it, force of habit. When you see it dollar for dollar it's like damn cheap, but after multiplying it by 2.41 OUCHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! Seriously way cheaper to be Singaporean in Singapore than Malaysian in Malaysia. Sigh.

Unlucky with a glass of red sangria tonight. The most horrible foul tasting shit I ever had the unfortunate luck to taste. For some fucking odd reason, this sangria 1) had foams on top 2) no fruits 3) no punch taste 4) had a hint of coconut liquer which I absolutely fucking hate with a vengeance. This is the second time in a row I've had bad cocktails in Singapore. WHAT'S UP WITH THAT? Is it just me or is this really the singaporean way of making their cocktails? ohgodhelpme if the latter is true.

Thank god for the internet.

Btw, if you are a friend, and you want to keep in touch with me, email me for my singapore number k? :)

The whole pad to myself. Nice. I could even walk around naked if I wanted to. Heh.

Goodnight!

WNF 9681

so I am happily cruising down a straight road when this bitch with a death wish suddenly turns INTO the road which causes me to slam onto my breaks to avoid a collision with her.

you and i who have studied for damn undang test know very well that the car on the straight road as the right of way and that it is NOT RIGHT for the other car in the junction to NOT look both ways before he/she makes a turn into the straight road. Not because it is the right thing to do, but because it is the thing you do if you DONT WANT TO KILL YOURSELF.

YOU FUCKING HAG. Just because you are old doesnt mean that traffic ethics does not apply you!!! HULKRAGE!

I Hate Friends.

WAIT! before you die-hard fans start to pelt stones and roadkill at me... I used to like it!

When it first came out god knows how many donkey years ago I thought it was one of the funniest sitcoms I have ever laid my eyes on and got hooked on it immediately. How can anyone not love it, it was so refreshingly funny and clever!

Then they brought in the romance between Ross and Rachel.

Which was okay at first. Kind of sweet. It's part of their character development, fine.

then it was on.

then off.

then on.

then off.

on off on off on off on off on off on off on off on off on off

and this went on for 10 fucking seasons.

when it's on they fuck it up.
when it's off they get jealous by each other
when it's on they fuck it up again
when it's off they want each other
when it's on they hate each other
when it's off they go ballistic when they see the other with someone else
ETC ETC ETC ETC FOR TEN SEASONS?

FUCKING GET ON WITH IT LAH SERIOUSLY.

That's no longer milking it to the bone. That's taking the bone, smashing it to pieces, putting the pieces into a giant one thousand house powered blender to liquify it.

The stupid ross and rachel romance thing completely KILLED the sitcom for me.

And now they are showing the showing the damn reruns. Every single fucking night.

NO.

Stop Feeding Me!

Juan, my old friend from Colombia, was here on a business trip and extended his stay here for a visit. I have not seen that guy for almost 7 years and if he hadn't dropped by I probably would've never seen him again.

Apparently Juan has been warned about Malaysian Hospitality.

- A typical Malaysian will overfeed his foreign visitor.

Something which we have been doing since we met him, hahah!