Tuesday, December 30, 2008

OI YOU BLOODY MALAYSIANS!

TIDUR AR! WAKE UP WAKE UP!

Nicol is in THE FINALS AND GETTING HER ASS KICKED BY THIS BOXER FELLOW.

HOW CAN! DAMN SHY LAH WAH LAU! HOW CAN U NOT SUPPORT OWN COUNTRY(WO)MEN!

Lose by a bit nevermind lah, but at this moment she only has 9% of the votes LEH!

Completely UNACCEPTABLE LAH!

DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT NOW.

WHAT YOU WAITING FOR! HAR! RED CARPET AH! STRETCH LIMO AH? A GOOD BITCH SLAPPING AH!

If you only want to do just ONE thing to show your patriotism for your country, screw taxes, screw waving your flags about and screw the elections - JUST VOTE FOR NICOL ON THAT ESPN THINGY.

GO VOTE A MILLION TIMES FOR NICOL. DO IT NOW. DROP EVERYTHING AND JUST DO IT.

OTHERWISE YOU'LL GET TEN BOILS ON YOUR BACKSIDE THAT'LL LAST A WHOLE YEAR!

GO GO GO GO GO

Vote Here

ScoreBoard Here

Monday, December 29, 2008

So Much Food!

Food hasn't been so bad the past few days. I'm still in Singapore, by the way.

I've actually been OVEReating. The belly is not going away. It's so bad that when I hunch, there's a triple fold on my overfed belly.

Shit!!!!! Got a wedding on Saturday to attend and I absolutely can NOT have a fucking awful overfed belly ARGH. The clothes I have now just WON'T FIT!

panic panic panic panic panic panic. okay don't panic. just eat in moderation!

Oh yeah pictures of food, every important. Since I'm a blogger and I have duties to uphold, HERE:

P1000545
This is a geoduck. In pieces. A geoduck is some seashell creature where the flesh looks like a giant dick. Just thought you'd like to know. Oh, it tastes very... fishy. No surprises there eh? Heh.

P1000609
Tanjong Katong Laksa. This is supposedly famous one. They serve this in a bowl, with a spoon. WithOUT chopsticks. It's how Tanjong Katong laksa is served EVERYWHERE in Singapore. Kinda odd for me because I'm used to holding a pair of chopsticks when there's noodles to be eaten but hey that's just me. It's just like asam laksa noodles in diluted curry laksa, but much less "liu".

P1000615
This is a no nonsense bloody awesome juicy, melts in your mouth fanfuckingtastic ginormous burger from a shop called Breko at the Holland Village (thanks lainey!). Forgot to take a picture when the food came and was reminded by my friend to take a picture after I've wolfed down half of it. Bad blogger. Even the coleslaw was yum, like how KFC's coleslaw used to be except BETTER. Only SGD12.50. One of the most satisfying meals I've ever had in Singapore. I was full all day till way past dinnertime.

P1000618
AND.... it's really difficult to not have a soft spot for a shop with a promotion like THAT, don't you think? :)

P1000626
There's also a really cute Japanese bakery at the Holland Village which sells all sorts of Japanese type of bread. One bread in particular which caught my eye was this one, melon pan (pan is bun/bread in japanese, btw) because it reminded me of an episode on Yakitate Japan (which I truly enjoyed and reviewed some time back) where the contestants had a melon pan baking challenge and the buns looked almost like this! Man, the stuff they had in there ALL looked delicious but I was so stuffed by the burger (and 2 bottles of Asahi) that I couldn't bring myself to buy or eat anymore food. Sinfully tempting or not. Burp.

P1000629
My friend took me to a street called.... chicbob (shit I terforgot the name, will edit this once I find out the proper name) where there's an entire row of pretty looking quaint shops selling all sorts of stuff - I have to take pictures to show them to you because I'm not that good with words at 1.40am on a Monday morning. There was a shop which sold all sorts of baking ingredients and tools, where I stumbled upon this beauty for only SGD 5.95. I can't possibly describe how happy I was to have FOUND this drink mixer tumbler thingy in the open by ACCIDENT. WILLING for me to buy it. I think I'll christen it at somebody's new year's eve party. :)

So tired d, I'm going to bed but I will end this post with a rant or two:

Post Xmas crowd here was just bloody STUPID. The ENTIRE country was out walking about on Orchard. ENTIRE COUNTRY. I thought normal weekend crowds were bad, how wrong I was. Last friday was like HELL. Like fire burning everywhere, pitch forks, lava pools, air choked by burning fumes type of HELL. People were everyfuckingwhere. Queueing for EVERYTHING. Too. Many. People. Too many doesn't even BEGIN to describe the amount of people there were on the streets, in the buildings, at bus stops, in cars. The feeling you get when you're in the middle of a crowd this fucked up is akin to being stuck in a tiny cave where you have no room to do anything except to crawl on all fours AND that cave gets SMALLER. Shopping crowds is officially at the TOP of my THINGS I HATE VERY MUCH IN SINGAPORE list. ARGHHHH HULKSMASH THEM ALL.

And one more rant, or rather, I'd like to have your thought on this - My mum and I were at M&S on Friday afternoon to buy something, and we were lining up to pay. There was someone else at the counter already, so we were next. There was also another line at a seperate counter on our left with 2 lining up customers. They were all there before we were queuing. After the lady in front of us was done we advanced towards the counter to pay. Suddenly on our left, somebody said out loud "SCUSE ME. I WAS IN QUEUE". It was the other person from the other queue. Mum and I let her go first - too shocked, too weirded out, and can't be bothered to make a scene on Boxing day. After that fugly bitch was done with her load of shopping (which I observed were a number inner wear items nobody will EVER see unless they subscribe to fetish porn sites no doubt) we proceeded to pay. We left M&S with a bitter taste in out mouths, and a little bit more aninmosity towards the local people and its kiasu/kiasi culture.

Ladies and gents, I'd love to know what you have to say on a couple of things - 1) Who was in the right 2)What would you have done.

Goodnight.

Sunday, December 28, 2008

Can U Guess What This Is About?

First, guess which brand owns which tagline? No prizes for guessing correctly, though.

so much is possible
power in your hands
different plans for different people
talk is still cheap
U call the shots
Got [ U ] got it all
let's talk puas puas

Now think about what's the first thing that comes to your mind? For me it's:
so much is possible - you might let me to do anything
power in your hands - you allow me to do anything
different plans for different people - you pre-tailormake things for me
talk is still cheap - it's cheap!
U call the shots - i choose what i want
Got [ ] got it all - you are basically everything
let's talk puas puas - it's cheap!

So purely based on taglines I have these options:
1. cheap
2. i can choose what i want
3. you tell me what I can want

As the average self-centred consumer who wants nothing but instant gratification - I'd go for the option which is cheap and/or lets me choose whatever I want.

Well, if I wanted a mobile option, the cheap tagline product isn't exactly mobile enough for me to carry it around in my pocket.

So that leaves me with the product that lets me choose what I want.

Which leaves me with *jengjeng* U Mobile.

Have you been catching their ads? What? Haven't seen it? No way!

It's not very easy to miss (or forget) that ad with the guy asking for 5 grapes… or the girl who asked for henna on 2 fingers… or the fella who wanted teh tarik setengah glass… and especially the one where there people are walking around with 20 hats on their heads… So basically it says that you don’t have to buy a full glass of the tarik because you’re only half thirsty. And pay for only what you need.

Yup. All pretty catchy U Mobile ads.

I guess it's too easy to guess what are they selling, unless you're trying really hard to be a wiseass. Or unless you're really THAT blur … okok I'll be nice and offer you a hint. It starts with a "3” …..

….and ends with the letters "G service providers".

What's the biggest difference between them and any other telco provides? U Mobile charges you by THE SECOND instead of the usual 30-60 second blocks which we are all so used to. Any less frillier and you'll have to carry around a landlinephone. And it isn't easy to find matching accessories for that, I tell ya. HEhe.

I learnt this in uni last time. Anything that is FREE is GOOD!!! The good thing about U-Mobile is that…. You can call your other U-Mobile friends for free! Free things rock my socks off! So now I can call Yee Hou for free, until 31st March because I told him how good U-Mobile is and he signed up. Go call him, 018-888-8888 kthxbai

You can also download demo games and caller ringtones free of charge. Tetris here I come!! No more boring bus rides, queues in the bank!! Offer valid till 31st December only if not I would have downloaded kau kau *sulks*

So go check out their official website at u.com.my if you'd like more details on their products and services.

Of course here’s another reason to sign up, you’ll get 10 SMSes for every RM10 you spend, and another 10 more thrown in if you hit RM100.

Go go go!

Thursday, December 25, 2008

Merry Xmas and a Happy New Year!

Xmascollage

....and for those who don't celebrate Xmas, happy holidays!

Can't believe I'm missing the Christmas (eve) party of the YEAR. AGAIN! :(

Oh well, have a merry holiday, folks. :)

mesantahat

Yum seng!

Sunday, December 21, 2008

Costume Parties.

I love parties. Especially if decent free booze is provided.

Costume parties could be fun too.

Especially if they provide decent free booze.

There's some party happening tonight and I'm supposed to dress up according to my assigned alphabet.

But being the poor corporate slave that I am, I have nothing to wear and no money to spend!!!

How ah. How to come up with a costume with NO BUDGET?

Had the initial idea of going as a Starbucks Barrista. So went to an actual Starbucks outlet to ask if I could borrow an apron for the night. "no" they said. "company policy". Fine, stingy pokers. Give you free marketing at a blogger party where there will definitely be tonnes of free exposure because every other blogger has a camera, and every single blogger has a blog, also you don't want. What to do? I will not five up! I will try to go through proper channels the next time, should there be a next time. I would even volunteer to take up classes if they needed me to. Oops. I shouldn't have blogged this out loud. Now other smart alecs are going to try and steal my idea. I WILL HUNT YOU DOWN IF YOU DO.

So, a little dissapointed, Plan B had me running around Orchard Road for an hour to acquire props for my costume.

Wanna try guessing what I'm going as?

P1000528

See you there. :)

Answer: I went as a Shopaholic (assigned alphabet was S- that's why the Starbucks barrista), but the shopping bags were empty. I wished they weren't though. :(

Friday, December 19, 2008

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Love Vs Conjoined Twin

Not being able to tear yourself away from your partner in the MRT even when the train is almost empty is NOT a declaration of everlasting love, eternal loyalty and everything romantic.

It's being a conjoined twin.

And fucking vomit inducing.

And bloody irritating.

Grow your own spine for fuck sakes and have some sympathy for the poor fellow.

Sunday, December 14, 2008

Rain Rain Go Away

Come again some other day!

I'm stuck! In my apartment! I was supposed to go out 2 hours ago! But NO. I am stuck in. Bloody rain. I had PLANS to check out Chinatown today... and it had to RAIN. What's worse is that it looks like it's the rain which will last the whole freaking day. What a bummer.

sad

Guess there's nothing left to do except laundry, watch tv and blog.

OR....

I could give the sky a big FUCK YOU go out ANYWAY. Because rain = less people = less elbows = less claustrophobia = more personal space on sidewalks!

It's really horrible to go out during the weekend. I know I've said this before, but you really have to be here. It's really, really traumatic going out there to find yourself wrestling with the ENTIRE COUNTRY on the sidewalks. It's chaotic like you're stuck in a war torn country and there aretanks, soldiers, bullets and shrapnels zipping this way and that everyfuckingwhere, except instead of all that it's a whole sea of people BENT on shopping. It's CRAZY. And fucking STRESSFUL. Something normal people who just want a relaxing weekend after being stuck all week at work NOT want to do. It's no wonder people just want to stay at home and rot their brains in front of the tv and facebook all day.

So. Screw the bad weather. I'm heading out ANYWAY.

Wish me luck!

Dinner

The meat THE MEAT OMG LOOK AT IT ALL COVERED IN CREAMY MUSHROOM SAUCE MMMmmMMMmMmMMMmm

yum

Thanks Pinky! It was yummy!

Friday, December 12, 2008

Never Seen In Malaysia

Or ever will be seen, in fact.

Check out what I saw at Watson's here the other day. I was so excited and like a complete jakun from Malaysia, I went back to the store armed with my trusty new CAMERA. Hahah damn bloggers. But no, I'm doing it for YOU. YOU. SHARING IS CARING. I HAD TO SHARE AND SHOW YOU ALL because we will never EVER see this in Malaysia's Watson's stores. I swear it on my pinky!

I have leave it to you imagination what people actually DO with these things. The damn instruction manuals are IN the packaging.

The products are right THERE. like among the family planning stuff. THERE. LIKE it's.. candy or tissue or something. Not even behind the cashier or something less open. It's THERE. IN YOUR FACE. FREE for you to buy it should you ever have the urgency to.

never seen in Malaysia
This looks like a ring.

never seen in Malaysia1
This looks like a fake fingernail which the empress dowagers wear back in the day when men wore dresses and pigtails.

never seen in Malaysia2
And this actually looks like a bottle opener.

Your turn.

Edited: Looks like I'm the only jakun one who hasn't seen it. Boody hell.

Thursday, December 11, 2008

A Door WHAT?

I hope I never get too old for juvenile humour.

Was so tickled when I saw this sign.

door what

Guess where I saw this?

On a Bus.

In Singapore.

What the hell is that? I Googled for it and all I got was this:

define

I'm sure that wasn't what it was..... or was it?!?!?!?

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Eavesdropped

So I was in the MRT today (oh I'm back in Singapore! Ah Seng can I please sample some of your brew pls thanks!).. and I overheard a conversation between 3 tourists. 2 asian girls, 1 angmoh. One of the asian girls spoke with the same heavy accent as the angmoh. The other Asian girl I think, IS actually from asia.

So from the conversation, I could kinda gauge that one of the girls (guess which one? no prizes) had just gotten a call from her boss. And she was, at the moment, 1) very worried about work or 2) upset that she got shelling from her boss. Either way, her facial expression wasn't a happy one.

Throughout the whole time I was there, the other 2 whiter folks was explaining to her about how that she's in a holiday she should 1) switch of her phone and 2) not read any emails. It's her holiday damnit, she should not be working on her holiday. Otherwise what's the point of having a holiday if she is still going to be worrying about work? The whole time they were talking, I could see that this girl (with the work issue) was stoning, looking worried, and accommodating to their views.

I thought to myself, lucky white folks who don't know any better. If the girl did all that she'd probably get her ass fired faster than she can say "I'm on a holiday, bitches, so leave me the fuck alone".

Saturday, December 6, 2008

Vote for Nicol David!!!

Malaysia Boleh moment, please bear with me.

ESPN actually shortlisted our very own Nicol David to contend for The Sports Personality of the year!
Just in case you think it's some kinda lame, low rated shit, check out the names of other superstars who were also shorlisted:

Cristiano Ronaldo
Lewis Hamilton
Kobe Bryant
Tiger Woods
Michael Phelps
Valentino Rossi ....and a few others!

Here's the full list and write-up: CLICK!

Here's the game page : CLICK!

.. and here's where you actually do the voting: Click! (you can actually see the results right after you vote!)

Nicol's match is up now!!!!!!!

You HAVE to vote for her now come on come on!!!

Wednesday, December 3, 2008

Twilight

twilight-movie-poster

Oh god. Not another teen something or other story.
Oh, it's a love story of a tortures 400 teen vampire is it?
How fucking original.
My RL Stine phase was like 20 years ago lah.

I told myself I would never ever ever read the damn book.
But now I find myself watching the damn movie.
Nonononono!!!!! I didn't pay to watch this I swear it was free!
(Thanks DavidLian & Suanie!!!)

Seriously, what is up with the lead actor? He is FUGLY.
I couldn't get over how bloody ugly he was.
He is so fugly he makes fugly people look like contestants in a beauty pageant.
He is so fugly, there is no word in the english language that even describes his whole new type of ugly.
Ugly as ass.
Worse than ass.
Ugly as warts on a toad.
No, uglier.
Uglier than a thousand buckets of alien vomit after a hardcore drunken night out on alien booze.
No, uglier than THAT.
He looks like a corpse that's been dead for a hundred years.
Oh wait, that's the point right?
Argh, you get my point.
He is just UGLY.

And it's not as if he had any on screen charisma.
Fucker walks like his balls are as big as a durian.
Or has durian for balls.
Which explains why he had to kangkang so besar besar... scared the legs terkena the thorns from his balls.
Wahkakakka.

Mygod, Robert Pattinson fans are so kinda burn me on a stake for this.
Sorry ar, one girl's meat another girl's sewage lah.
Feel free to make fun of the men I think are hot.
... like Peter Facinelli and Cam Gigandet... oooooh.

Oh what about the movie ar? Well, I went in knowing that it's going to be some cheesy, juvenile harry potter version of a vampire movie so you could say that I went in with negative expectations.

But at the end of the day, I find myself not hating this movie.

I can't believe it either.

Despite the plastic acting, corny lines, the fugly lead actor, even the 2 minute cheesy scenes from the karaoke mtv clip flashback moment.

I didn't hate it. :(

Ashamed and speechless? Me too.

Maybe I didn't hate it because it was free? Probably.
But how do you explain the fact that I actually WANT to read the book now? HUH HUH?
I've got no explanations for that. :(

Sigh. Next thing you know I'm wanting to watch The Disaster Movie.
Should that ever happens please feel free to stab me in the chest with the nearest sharp instrument you can find.
Please.

Tuesday, December 2, 2008

THE SKY IS SMILING!!!

If you are in the Klang Valley, get out now and look up into the sky!!!

It looks like a smiley face!!!

The moon is in a crescent shape and it makes the smile and there's 2 twinkling thingies on top of it which is probably some star or planet or the ISS station.

LOOK OUT NOW NOW NOW!!!

It looks like this ---> :)

ARGH I wish i had my spanking new camera now to take it But I don't! GRRR.

TAKE PICTURES PLEASE THANKS!!!

Thursday, November 27, 2008

Shows that rocks my socks

I hardly watch the tv anymore. That's mostly because everytime when I'm home, the telly is on the damn chinese channels which annoys the shit out of me. Stay with family mah, what to do. But, whenever (HAH. IF ever) I do get my chance with the telly, I usually surf around these few channels - Discovery travel and living, AFC, hallmark, AXN, starworld, E news, Discovery. In that order.

I did use to enjoy watching Mtv but not until bloody emo rockers, angsty hiphoppers, teenage reality shows took over the channel and transformed it into rubbish. Starworld isn't even my favourite channel anymore eversince an entire slew of stupid mind numbing for "housewives and college kids only" series came on air - one tree hill, the oc, desperate housewives, private practice, grey's anatomy, gossip girl, 90210... and not to mention the hundreds of idiotic reality tv shows which just makes me want to smash the tv into a million pieces......

So despite my rather happening, hectic lifestyle (not!) I try really hard to catch these few shows which are my favourite-st shows evAr.

Thirsty Traveller
thirsty
It's not very hard to see why I love this show.
3 words.
Guy. Drinks. Travel.
When I grow up, I want to be just. like. him.

MythBusters
myth
The "eat too full nothing to do" kings. Seriously how did anybody come up with this idea to set up a team which does all sorts of weird experiments just trying to bust myths? How?Why? The stuff they do and the crazy shit they come up with are too bloody hilarious! Who would've thought about folding paper the size of a plane hangar just to dispel the "you can't fold paper more than 8 times" myth. It's a complete waste of time, but incredibly too much fun. Science? and fun? Who would've thunk?

Dirty Jobs With Mike Rowe
dirty
Everytime I watch this show I can't help but smile. Mike reminds me of Hugh Laurie somewhat. But that's not the only reason why I like dirty jobs. This guy goes into the sewer, swims in shit, has his face covered in shit, can practically taste the shit in his mouth and still can afford to crack side splitting one liners. Love it!

Jamie Oliver
jamie
Everytime he is cooking he makes me want to lick the tv screen. He makes everything look so DELICIOUS! Completely messy, but YUMMY. I get hungry after watching an episode of Jamie Oliver. Every time. He makes cooking look so fun even I feel like cooking. _shudders_

Man vs Wild
manvswild
It's hard to not like this crazy nut who wants to be left in the middle of no man's land only to try and escape it with nothing except his clothes on his back. Crazy fuckers who do strange things like that are high on my "very cool" list. But we all know that there's an entire crew we don't see who are there on back up and make sure that he DOES get his clean water and bug free food. And I really do pity his cameraman who's in more shit than he is because not only does he have to surive through the ordeal with him, he carries the CAMERA. But what I don't see, don't count I guess. Plus it doesn't hurt that the fellow is kinda cute. and hunky.... WAHKAKAKAKAKA. :P

What's your favourite shows on tv these days? And if you say friends reruns or grey's anatomy I will personally hunt you down and cut of your toes off with a rusty blunt blade.

WARGH.

I'm very upset at myself at the moment.

I hate myself for generally being nice, accomodating and not assertive enough.

But I'm working on it.

I will grow some balls.

And when tell the next fella tries to bully me I will say to that person - SUCK ON IT BITCH.

kthxbai.

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Consolation

I dropped by car keys into the toilet today.

Fucking gross.

Well, at least it wasn't number 2.

And definitely better than dropping my car keys next to my car and not knowing about it until someone calls me up from the police station.

Right?

Anyway, my car keys still work fine.

Thank goodness it's perodua. keke :P

Monday, November 17, 2008

Malaysia vs Singapore and the Return of the Travelling Bug.

It's been only 3 days since I've been back.
It made me realise how much I really missed certain things in Malaysia.
... and how I'm already starting to miss certain things in Singapore.

Malaysia
1. Family
2. Friends
3. Food
4. My car

Singapore
1. Clean, maintained, taxis with un-dodgy looking drivers
2. MRT
3. Cleanliness
4. SGD1 for a can of coke (looking at it from a dollar to dollar point of view)
5. How I can just get to anywhere by foot of public transport
6. The general "safe" feeling

It's sad to say that at the end of the day, it feels like, at the moment, the only thing thats keeping here is not even the country itself but my personal relationships with the people I like and love.... who could always follow me down to singapore.. :P

But singapore has this cold, self-absorbed culture. It's definitely not a place to retire because once you're not useful to the economy anymore you're tossed aside like used tissue. That's the general feeling I get and have heard from the older more experienced folk.Niamah! :P Okokok I'm going to get that damn camera soon lah!!!
-----------------------------------------------------------------

That strong urge to want to travel and see the world is back again. It's poking my heart and tugging at my stomach. Again. I'm 28. If I don't do this now, when will I ever do it? Yet, I can't do it now because I don't have the money, which I'm working for, and getting measly amounts of. And it seems like I'll never earn enough to meet my goal. But I have to go NOW because I'm getting older and there will be only more commitments to come. But I can't because I'm in the middle of nowhere of my career and if I stop now it would mean a blimp in the middle of nowhere. Which put me in the same level as a... fresh graduate except I'm like 7 years older than them, lose-lose for me. I fucking hate catch 22s.

I have to do this. Otherwise it'll keep nagging at me and I won't feel complete. But when? And how? What can I do oh what can I do?

I know one thing I should do is to get out of my ass and get some serious initial research done on this. It's not as if it will miraculously appear in my mailbox one day with complete details on where to go, how to get there, where to live and to get it all done on no budget, would it? Would it?? ;)

Friday, November 14, 2008

Day 19

Weather's getting really erractic. One day rain rain rain rain rain. Another day humid like fuck. Yet another day scorching sun fries you. What the hell is going on?

Ben & Jerry's ice cream is seriously rocking my socks off. Bought a pint of cookie dough and it feels like I can't have enough of it but I MUST STOP EATING NOW. Freaking pringles of ice-cream. Why do you have to be so good and expensive. :(

I've seen too many girls here wearing many variation of gladiator sandals. I know it's supposed to be some latest trend or whatever but NO. UR DOIN IT RONG. Just because the ppl behind their multibillion corporates tell you it is doesnt make it IT. NO NO NO.

Tired. Have to wake up at 5 something AM tmrw to catch the first flight back then straight to the office. Sigh. Liddat lah.

Thursday, November 13, 2008

Day 17 & 18: Buskers, Xmas Deco, Allergies, Food

Long fucking day. But let's not talk about work. Ever.

I was wondering over the weekend, if those buskers/beggars in Orchard street needed a permit or not. I mean, this is a country which regulates everything after all! Then I found out later, to me (un)surprise that they DO need permits after all. holy shit what the fuck?

I saw more sparrows in Orchard Road. Yeay! It's alive!

The Christmas decorations are starting to come up. It's looking quite festive. Except I think everybody's cutting back on expenditure so it looks very.... moderate. 10 years ago when I was visiting in Singapore, the decos were hardcore full on extravagant. Ginormous trees and tree decorations, Santa on his sleigh pulled by giant reindeers, giant gingerbread/toy houses, fake snow, blinking lights everywhere, giant snowmen, giant fake snowflakes..... maybe it's still early. Let's wait till next month to really see.

I have to start facing facts. I wasn't sure before.. but I'm quite sure now... I think I'm allergic to beer. Coz everytime after I drink beer, the bottom part of my left eye where my eyebag is always swell. Looking like a big mosquito bite. seriously I swear to your god. Just on my left eye. Mosquito bite. Everytime I have beer. Is this an allergic reaction? Sigh. One less reason to live.

Have had the pleasure of tasting some Singaporean hainanese chicken rice at some famous market place in tanjang pagar. It was actually quite good. Got taste and everything yum yum and it was only 2.80!!!! CHEAP! AND NOT BAD! CAN CRY LOH! Then I had some fish slice mee hoon soup at market place, 5 bucks. Wasn't half bad, but something was still missing. The meehoon was the laksa noodle type. Quite weird. But okay lah, not bad.

Back to Malaysia on Friday. Singapore counter shall be paused momentarily.

Sleepy already. G'nite!

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Day 14,15,16

Oh crap. Haven't updated in 3 days. Guess I'll do it in point form to keep it short. :)

Saturday:
Avenue Q was good! But I did expect the original cast, and this show was mostly a Filipino cast. But still, I hummed along every song, laughed at every joke, clapped after every section. The main actress was mind blowingly fantastic. Trekkie Monster is still one of my favourite character. The internet is for porn shall remain one of my favourtise songs. :) But SGD80 for a 2 hour show is still very very painful, hehe. It's playing until the end of the week - you really should catch it!

Brewerks right after. One whole tower full of golden ale. We were all very happy. And LOUD. VERY loud. Hehehe. Finally met Ah Suanie's Ah Seng who is freaking hilarious and one of the most interesting characters I have ever met! Hellow! Nice to meet you! Can I get some beer credits too? :P

Then ramen right after. Char Siew ramen. At orchard Plaza. It was about 12+ bucks. VEry fucking worth it. Juicy Charsiew. Springy noodles. Tasty soup ooh the soup was good! So fanfuckingtasticly yummy..... I need another bowl right now.... MMMmMMmmmmMMmmMmmm... Why is it the food that 's been good so far are the ones which are not local? Heh, so weird.

Sunday:
Walked along Orchard Road again. Met up with friends. Walked about abit. Stopped by for Coffee Bean. Lamented at how things are so much more cheaper for a Singaporean and etc...

Finally saw some real life birds along the streets. Phew. They DO exist!

One thing which was pointed out to me was that the pavements are so smooth. No cracks. No unevenness. No stray weeds. So clean well maintained. And... nice. In Kl, I would be tripping all over the place, dodging roots and open drains. Sigh.

Also visited Plaza Singapura today. Their carrefour has an extensive selection of foreign beer! It was a whole SHELF filled with beer from all parts of the world! US, China, Bavaria, Belgium... etc... etc.... PROJECT! I'm so going to try every beer there is and then blog about it! Just you wait for it! _excited_ It even had Carls Junior! So of course must try.... but nothing special loh, sigh.

(Btw, Ah seng - Flying dogs not very nice lah. you bluff me. :( )

Monday:
First day of work. Yeay. Nothing to say about that.

Tried Mos burger again, but this time - tried their rice burger. It sucked big time. No surprises there right?

So tired, and tomorrow's only Tuesday.

Sian.

Saturday, November 8, 2008

Day 13: Loof, Duty Free Booze, Avenue Q, MSG, First Thai

Just came back from a night out with very old friends. Not old as in the age, but old as in I've known them for almost forever. :)

Was at the Loof. It's fucking hot. That's all I can say. Fucking smoldering humid I hate this shit so much pls kill me now hot.

And man, drinking really isn't cheap here. Not for a Malaysian anyway. NOTHING is cheap for a Malaysian here ARGH. Everything is really cheaper here for a Singaporean. Almost everything. For some strange reason I just can NOT ACCEPT THIS FACT. IT IS SO UNFAIR.

Someone questioned how the hell we malaysians manage to freaking survive in malaysia. pay sucks. cost of living sky high. fucking weak ringgit. nothing works. elephants fight for their own egos while ants die in the middle. i couldnt respond to that. suddenly being proud about how great our food is doesn't quite matter anymore. Depressed. Considering slitting wrists. Thinks of penang char kuay teow. mmmm. will defer and reevaluate thought of slitting wrists until I have my next png char kuay teow. mmmm.

I can't believe I can actually forgot to blog about this but WHY THE FUCK ARE MALAYSIANS NOT ALLOWED TO FREAKING PURCHASE DUTY FREE BOOZE AT THE AIRPORT WHY WHY WHY OHGOD TELL ME WHY YOU FUCKING @#($*&(@*&#(*!@&#(*!#@ I tried to buy something from our KLIA airport - cannot. singapore custom don't let, try at Changi? I go Changi. I try to buy something. Oh you Malaysia ah - sorry kenot. WHY KENOT. Custom say kenot. Go outside there read the sign okay?

WHY WHY WHY WHY AREN'T MALAYSIANS ALLOWED TO BUY YOUR GODDAMN DUTY FREE BOOZE WHY. Don't lah put a blanket ban. I understand that you want to stop these 1 day goers from buying but don't stop ppl who will be staying in your teeny tiny island for more than one week from buying liquour. IT'S THE ONLY WAY TO KEEP MY SANITY INTACT HERE WITHOUT HAVING TO URGE SOMEBODY'S EYE OUT WITH MY PENCIL OKAY WTF. WHY WHY I DEMAND A FREAKING EXPLANATION RIGHT NOW. eventhough I'm sure I can google for it. I rather have more comments from irate singaporeans telling me that i'm such a stupid ugly idiot and that i should die and go to hell for being such a stupid malaysian. Burn in hell, haters.

Wow. Bitchy mode a bit on. Drinking does that to me now. Actually Bitch is my my middle name. It is a silent word. And invisible. Which is why you don't see it in between Fire and Angel. But trust me, it's there.

Suanie is here. With Paul. YEAY! We're all going to watch Avenue Q. It better not suck I swear I'll torch the damn esplanade down. The fucking tickets cost us about RM trillions dollars stupid goddamn useless ringgit ARGH STOMP THE ANNOYING SHITTY RINGGIT ARGH

I feel damn tak puas loh. What is so great about Malaysia apart from the food. List me 5 good things for you and me about our great tanahair. Good luck with that. No don't give me shit like we're not at war, we're not all hardcore poor, we have letrik and clean water (yeah right) and lame crap like that. REAL REASONS.

Hey you singaporeans. Is there some kinda regulation about MSG being banned here? Is that why food here isn't all that tasty or fulfilling? Please confirm. CONFIRM THIS. I KNOW HOW EAGER YOU ARE AT DEFENDING YOUR PERFECT COUNTRY SO BRING IT ON.

Sorry, I'm not usually that confrontational (lies) but the alcohol in me really loosens up my fingers.

SHIT SPEAKING OF FOOD. MY OLD SCHOOL FRIEND TOOK ME TO SERIOUSLY THE BEST FOOD I EVER HAD IN SINGAPORE.

*cue chorus of angels singing*

It's at a place called First Thai along Purky (?) Road. OMG. IT IS TASTY. ALMOST AUTHENTIC. THE TOMYAM. THE GREEN CURRY CHICKEN. Even their waitresses were REAL THAIs. holy shit i can actually TASTE THE FOOD. IT WAS SO GOOD. SO GOOD SO GOOD. And not only do I taste the food, it actually tastes AWESOME. Every time I chew my food tears of joy would start streaming out of my eyes, the clouds would part and a ray of light would shine from the heavens, . It was that good. Well, maybe I exaggerate a little, but it is a serious change from what I've been getting at the damn food courts in CBD. My friend promises she will take me to the best chicken rice she has ever tasted (she is Malaysian by the way - so I KNOW I CAN TRUST HER). I can't wait CAN'T WAIT CANT FUCKING WAIT my stomach is jumping so hard from joy that it's tickling my tonsils.

See? I don't hate everything about Singapore. Actually I never said I hate everything about Singapore. Cis where the fuck did you guys ever got that idea from? Stop taking your drugs man.

Okay it's wayyy past my bedtime. I need to enjoy THIS weekend coz I didn't have a weekend LAST weekend and I freaking deserve THIS one damnit!

Goodnight!

Friday, November 7, 2008

Day 12: Back, Please Move, Seeing-Eye Dog, Sick.

Whenever I see someone standing on the right side of the elevator escalator and not moving I feel like taking my foldable umbrella and shoving it into the fuckers skull. HOW CAN SHE/HE NOT KNOW THAT THE RIGHT SIDE IS FOR MOVING. YOU WANT TO STAND STILL YOU STAND ON THE FUCKING LEFT TIUNIASENG.

Ditto for fuckers on the travellators. MOVE MOTHERFUCKERS!!!!!

rage rage RAGE HULKSMASH

I saw a blind guy in the mrt station today. He had a seeing-eye dog. It was a labrador. So cute! This would be the first time in my entire life that I've actually SEEN a real seeing-eye dog. I've read about them so much when I was younger. Have always been fascinated by them - they are so intelligent and loyal. I WANT A LABRADOR!!!!

I should stop expecting food here to taste like in Msia. It's a whole different country afterall. Maybe if I took away the expectations I wouldn't bitch about the food so much. But you see, if it tastes different, it's still okay because there is still a taste, like what Patrick says. If it's just BLAND? Then cannot accept lah, sorry guys. My typical Malaysian tongue is fucked up already. Need stronger tasting everything!

I'm falling ill. Nose runny like a leaking faucet. Last week been really crazy with work and I think it's taking a toll on me.

8.30 meeting tmrw, time for bed! Nites.

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

HE WON HE WON!

BARACK OBAMA WON! YEAY!!!

SUNSHINE!

BLUE SKIES!

BUNNIES!

PEACE ON EARTH!


can't believe I'm more excited about theirs than ours!

Tuesday, November 4, 2008

It's Dark Outside.

Feeling like that half a second breath you steal just before the unforgiving current of the sea pulls you under to your death.

Take a second from your routine to wonder – why the hell do you keep doing this? Is it what you want? Is this what you need? Will you die without it? Is there a real answer to routines and are the answers really legit? Or just lies you use to console yourself to get through the day?

Week?

Month?

Year?

Your lifetime?

Brush it off and then go on with your work.

Oblivious to the sound of crashing thunder.

Warning you of an impending storm.

Monday, November 3, 2008

No Rest For the Weary

Saturday - work
Sunday - work
Monday -work

rest? what rest? I'll get all the rest I need when I'm dead, thanks very much.

Hp at critical levels. I'm fucking cranky.

Hope your weekend was better than mine. Share.

Thursday, October 30, 2008

Malaysia vs Singapore

Ohai I'm back in Malaysia for a bit. So the singapore counter will be stopped for a moment.

Let's take this opportunity to tackle an issue.

Dear Readers From Kennysia:
There is a sudden influx of curious readers thanks to Mr Kennysia who pimped my blog last week (Thanks KS). No doubt that most of you readers are new to my blog and are highly likely to be Singaporean. Not just any singaporean, but a very young, loyal one. So you expect nothing but praises about your great your country. Hahaha. HAHAHA. Hah. Obviously that is not that case here. As such, I sense that most of you are very upset (in a controlled way) about how much I bitch about Singapore because you don't know jackshit about me or my style of writing. But I am generous and kind, so I'll give you a quick explanation of how this silly little blog works.

Please be assure that as much as I bitch about Singapore, I bitch about Malaysia as much if not more. Eventhough you don't see that much in my "Singapore Days" posts but in my every other BAU (business as usual) posts I bitch about Malaysia. It's just the way I am. I BITCH ABOUT EVERYTHING. So if my style of writing irks you, and you feel the strongest urge to stab my eyeballs with a pen after reading my posts, please do yourselves and your blood presure a favour by just going away. This goes for you too, new Malaysian readers who are upset when I bitch about our beloved tanahair. If you can't take the sarcasm or the causticness or the crude unfunny jokes, just fuck off lah. I'm not in desperate need of your eyeballs. Or the traffic. Or the money from the traffic, okay? We're clear? Good.

Regular blog transmission:
I now understand why Malaysians and Singaporeans are always bitching about how each other's country not being good enough. How we don't do that as much to the other countries we visit. The problem is that we were once a country, and at some point of time shared the same history, culture, food, people, everything. I suppose when everything looks the same, feels the same, it's not wonder people expect things to be the same. And the problem is that it can't because eventhough we are similar, we are not exactly alike. In fact, we have not been a country for over 40 years!

At the end of the day, we should learn how to manage our own expectations of each other's country. But until that day comes, the bitching will continue. Which is perfectly fine by me. :)

My mum commented how healthy I looked. Not in the fatter sense, but in the "better skin" sense. It's probably because of the clean Singapore air. Which I'm really starting to miss. Meanwhile, I'm home stuffing my face with our overly tasty food. I miss our unhealthy junk. YUmmy yummy yum yum. Ok this blogging thing is taking too much time away from my eating. Less blog, more face stuffing. Kthxbai.

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Day 11: MOS, Chang Kee, McCafe, Bordersm Emerald Hill & Orchard

Finally had my first taste of MOS cheeseburger (not the rice one)! Okay which one of you jokers told me it was the greatest thing ever? Come here and say that to my face so I can freaking punch your face in you bitch, hehe! It's very, very salty. So salty that my tongue feels like it's been scraped with sandpaper made out of rock salt. Why is food here like opposite extremes one. Either tasteless or too damn salty. Yeah I know you guys always complain that our sauces are too thick, too sweet, too salty too much msg, too herbally, too spicy, basically just too much of everything. But we at least got variety lah... here it's just fucking SALTy, or no taste. As the guys from icanhascheezburgr say, Ur doin' it rong!!11

Also tried an Old Chang Kee curry puff today. Haih. Pastry too thick and dry. Inside no chicken. Only potato and a hint of curry taste. SO SAD LOH. Some more supposed to be famous wei. Curry puff also cannot run away from being "sanitised" ar. :*( I'm wondering if Chang Kee curry puffs are something locals will never eat and it's more of a tourist con thing? Is it?!?!? Tell me the truth!!!!!

I was walking pass Shaw Centre today and I couldn't believe it when I saw a McCafe. What the hell is a McCafe? It's a freaking coffee house by Mcdonalds. Yeah the one that brought you all the Mcmeals. The cafe was FILLED with customers and people were actually lining up for their coffee!!!! Something is wrong with the picture lah. I mean a fastfood joint selling coffee what has the world come to? Next thing you know they'll be selling books, apparels, compiling music CDs and coming up with their own cocktails. Mcbooks. Mcclothes. Mcmusic. Mccocktail. If we don't stop it now Mcdonalds will take over the WORLD!!!! We'll all live in a MCWORLD! NOOOO!!!

I spent some time at Borders (packed packed packed) because it was raining outside. Scott Adams came up with a new book, which is basically a compilation of all his blog entries from his website. I love it. He is too funny! I plopped myself next to the China fiction section and laughed by myself every 5 and a half minutes or so, and after awhile I realised the parameter surrounding me was considerably emptier. Oh well If they can't take someone enjoying a book then fuck them.

Walked along the stretch of Emerald Hill to check out the Peranakan houses. They were pretty, and very well maintained. It's like what you'll see in some areas from KL and Melaka, except cleaner. Bugged Mr. Niamah while he was eating his bak kut teh @ the Canteen. I just had to ask how it was, and we all know the response to that :P. (Aiyak.. did I thank you for the drink ar? So rude so rude! THANK YOU!!!) Also finally walked the entire stretch of Orchard Road today. Malls, malls, malls. All selling the same homogenic stuff. People people people everywhere! People tend to overdress to go out shopping here don't they?

I'm so tired of crowds man. Weekday have to fight with a sea of working people. Weekend have to fight with a sea of shopping people. Don't you guys get ever get tired of this?

Time for bed, nights!

Monday, October 27, 2008

Day 09 & 10: Mos, Brewerks, Clark Quay, Friends, & Shopping

Saturday:
I wanted to try Mos burger on Friday but the damn shop was closed. Closed at 8.30pm!!!! A bit too early right! -_-" This means that I still haven't tasted the damn burger yet. It's being very elusive!!! GRrr. Saya pantang dicabar!!!!

I had the most awesome Subway Melts for lunch. REAL. PIG. BACON. = HEAVEN. I almost died. Almost. Then was brought back to earth by the saltiness of the ham which kinda killed the mindblowing out of the world bacon experience for me.

So I was at Brewerks yesterday and the beer is still pretty awesome. Was there to just chill, read my book and have a couple of beers. It's such a nice place to be at. The singapore river just on my right and the view of the refurbished pre-war buildings of clark quay right next to it. A long time blog stalker came by to say hi. We had an awesome conversation but he had to rush off earlier. He seems very normal in person, so I was glad for the company. Hehehe I know you're reading this so hi! After paying for the pint and a mug later (no service charge! woot! is it the norm to leave tips? uh oh being the cheap malaysian I didn't leave much kekeke.) to take a quick stroll around Clark Quay.

Did you know that in Clark Quay they have these giant steel structures which act as shades for the surrounding area? What I want to know is this - why hasn't anyone noticed that these giant steel structures look like ginormous steel DICKS? At a certain angle it even look like it has a couple of balls. GIANT PENISES. BIG BIG DICKS. At least 10 of them were completely surrounding the area. And NO ONE even thought that those phallic steel things looked like DICKS? Highly fucking impossible. If you have never seen them, you must go there right NOW. Have a look and tell me that those don't look like penises to you! I refuse to believe that my mind is the only one that's fucked up. Hell, you don't even need a fucked up mind to know that those things look like giant penises. THEY ARE SO IN YOUR FACE.

Clark Quay looks like a nicer and a combination of Bangsar One/Asian Heritage Row/The Curve. Plenty of boutique restaurants and classy drinking joints - very touristy. There's even a Hooters.... which isn't that great because the girls who work there don't have the assets which Hooters are very well known for. But they do wear the really short corny tight shorts, at least.

Sunday:
Today, I spent half the day with my high school mate who has been here for 10 years which practically makes her Singaporean (hehehe don't kill me ar). We walked and walked and walked... and I wasn't sure where we went exactly but we did end up in the National Musuem (?). There wasn't much to see and I was too cheap to pay for admission for the more interesting exhibitions. The musuem did look really pretty though. A lot of thought was put into making it really artsy and nice. Which was such a waste because inside, there really wasn't much going on. Makes me wonder how museums from other countries are REALLY like. Our own national musuem sucks ass, as far as I can remember. But I've only been there once, which was 16 years back, haha.

It's so easy to walk around here. It's probably due to the general cleanliness of the place. Less traffic. Less smog. Less dirt. It's And the fact that it was relatively cool, cloudy day, helped a lot too. My friend and I had a long chat about everything, and it was really nice because we haven't really chatted in a long time. Been awhile since I've met up and hung out with any of my old school friends.

We walked pass many tiny little boutiques and came across a shop that had a bazaar going on. Scored myself a really gorgeous body hugging long, black cheongsam for an amazing price of SGD10. EVen after conversion it was a steal. Couldn't believe that it was so cheap so spent a long time trying to look for flaws on it. Nothing!! Bought it and left happy. :)

So we popped by Funan Digital Mall. It looks like cleaner, brighter, more organised version of Imbi. But like Imbi, you just can't run away from the damned overplayed fengtau songs blasting from sound systems everywhere, argh killmenow. We checked out the apple shop..... is 600 Sing for an Ipod touch cheap ar? :P We stopped by this shop which was apparently a favourite among the locals - Soong brothers? The salesguy was really trying to push the Panasonic Lumix FS5 camera to me. SGD 548 worth it or not? He'd throw in an 8gb extra memory, extra batt and some useless mini tripod. I checked on the Panasonic Malaysia retail that it should retail for only RM1099 something. If that's really the case then I might as well buy it in Msia!!!!! Cis. Tipu me. Berani engkau!

Had the chance to sit in the public bus. Buses here don't emit black smoke, are pretty clean and are aplenty. I even saw a woman driving a bus which was a very rare sight indeed. There are never any woman bus drivers in Malaysia. But of course, at rush hour, it'd be packed like sardines and you'd end up smelling other people's sweat dripping from their armpits and having people violating your personal space, which is a given anywhere. The bus routes and system here actually WORKS. What are they doing right which Malaysia is doing so wrong? We can't keep falling back to the whole "our country is bigger" excuse anymore lah, it's getting really embarassing.

Grabbed a bus to Selegie to meet another friend who owns a comicbook shop in the Peace Centre. Selegie was FILLED with migrant Indian workers. It felt like I was in INDIA. At the corner mamak shop every single table was occupied with Indians. And the Peace Centre? Holy cow. One of the dodgiest buildings I've seen so far in Singapore. Lots of dodgy looking places which I bet is filled with GROs and unlegalised prostitution dens. The place was just reaking with the aura of seediness. Thank god my friend was there, I wouldn't have felt safe being there on my own.... OHMYGOD this means I have finally found a place in Singapore which I don't feel safe in!!!

I had dinner at the Heartlands (FINALLY! THE REAL LOCAL SCENE!).. at some place called Ghimmoh Road, which is apparently the "higher class" HDB area, where we had "tai chow" and lots of beer. Should I really tell you how the food is? Or can you already guess it? BLAND BLAND BLAND. You know what I really hate about food here. It's not that it's bland. It's that it looks exactly like what it looks like back home and even smells like how it smells like back home. So there is already a certain level of expectation that it'll taste like what it tastes like back home. That's the worst bit. When you expect it to be something when it is completely NOT. Because after you had the first taste of the deliciously looking food all your expections crumble down like a pack of cards which got hit by a typhoon. Your heart sinks into your stomach, and your stomach sinks into the ground, and you just feel cheated. Unfulfilled. It's NOT RIGHT TO LEAD SOMEONE ON LIKE THAT. Like a false promise, a tease. You can smell it, see it, but you can't taste it, baby. ARGH. FRUSTRATING LOH. YEARGH HULKRAGE STOMP FOOD!

Cat! I SAW A STRAY CAT! So cute curled up on a chair and sleeping! I guess the authorities didn't kill ALL strays, it missed this one hehehe. Even had the chance to use the toilet here - apart from it being wet, it wasn't an iffy toilet likes the ones we have back in KL which makes you want to vomit the moment you smell a whiff of it. Maybe if I go deeper into the heartland....

My friend did used a word to very appropriately describe everything about Singapore - clinical. Everything in Singapore is just so sanitised and controlled. I have to agree with that.

Fuck it's too damn late. Goodnight!

Sunday, October 26, 2008

Day 08 (con't): Dragonfly Club

So I was asked to go check out Dragonfly which was one of the five (?) dance halls in Saint James Powerhouse Station. Each dance hall had a theme, and the one that we went to had a Cantopop theme. In between r&b and hiphop DJ spun music there were live performances by import Chinese and local artistes sing popular mandarin and Cantonese songs….and in case you were wondering, this is NOT my sort of thing and didn’t know about the venue until we were already there.

One big similarity between Singapore and Malaysian clubbing seen is that crowd control is absolutely non-existent. Learning from KY I made a quick note of alternative exit doors, just in case.

Best thing about Singapore clubbing scene is that there’s no smoking in the club. If you have to fag, you’ve got to take it outside. One thousand points for Singapore. But the good part stops there.

This is the second time I’ve been clubbing in Singapore. The first time really sucked for me and I think I’ve written about that some time back. This second time wasn’t that great either and the whole experience was quite awkward for me.

Guys were buying girls drinks (these are strangers), girls were happily accepting them and expecting more. Both guys and girl were role-playing all the time. The guys playing the male chauvinist macho man while the girls were very “manja”, feminine and act all cute-like. I never noticed this in Malaysian clubs, but it seems very evident here. And this is strictly based on the observations I made last night. Actually, I see this even in the daytime, but that’s a story for another day.

Another thing, when we go clubbing back in Malaysia we’d go in a group with a mix of boys and girls. Sometimes we don’t have a table, so we’d “tumpang” one of the group member’s friend’s table, and the whole group will join in. But here, the guys only allowed the girls to tumpang, and basically told the guys to fuck off. It’s quite sickening. After that, all the enthusiasm for clubbing in me completely went out the window. Talk about in your face biased selfishness.

Dragonfly (I keep thinking that it’s called grasshopper for some odd reason) has the tiniest dance floor ever. And this is me talking, the one who keeps bitching about how small Malaysian dance floors are. Dragonfly’s dance floor makes the smallest ones back home look like football fields.

Wait, let me tell you the most fucked up thing – do you know what Singaporeans mix their whiskey with? Believe it or not - Green tea. Green motherfucking tea. Not coke, not soda. But freaking green tea. Let me share with and assure you that this is the most foul tasting gunk ever. How to describe the taste… it tastes exactly like what you expect drain water to taste. Why the Singaporeans really love this horrible concoction will completely baffle the average human mind.

My group wanted to leave at 4am. I was ready to go at 2. I found out that the Dragonfly club closes at 6am – much to my disappointment. I had wanted the night to end early. Do all clubs in Singapore close at 6am?

This outing is very close to making me swear of all Singapore clubs. Maybe I’ve just been to the wrong clubs, met the wrong crowd. You know what they say, third time’s a charm.

Saturday, October 25, 2008

Day 08: Strays, Being Malaysian, Mandarin, Mug & Sim Lim

You know I’ve always thought that there was something strange about the city area. I finally realized what it was. There are no strays here. No animals. No cats. Nor dogs. Nor rats. Nor birds. Oh wait, there are birds! I hear them amongst the trees at night, making their bird noises…. Hear them. But I don’t actually see them. For all I know, the sounds come from loudspeakers planted on trees to make us believe that they are other living creatures in the city besides us routine zombies. Hahaha, that actually sounds ridiculous, but this is Singapore leh (heh), it could actually happen! But yeah. If I don’t see the birds, they don’t exist. So where are all the strays at? Were they all caught and dumped in KL? Because there's plenty of strays back home!

Why do Singaporeans always ask me if I am Singaporean. -_- Are they not exposed to Malaysians enough to know that there are Chinese in Malaysia? And what is so different between how a Singaporean Chinese and a Malaysian Chinese girl apart from the trendier upmarket clothes and more makeup worn by the Singaporean Chinese? Can somebody explain this to me please?

While ordering food at a hawker stall one needs to constantly remember to order in mandarin. Otherwise they look at you weird. Not the hardest thing to do, but takes a lot of getting used to since most orders made in KL/PJ are made in Cantonese and hawkers there would look at you weird if you speak to them in Mandarin, prompting them to ask if you are from out of town, tempting them to charge you a wee bit higher because you might not know any better, haha.

For such a bustling city/street of activity, the shops here close too damn early. I was looking for food at about 9pm, but many shops in the CBD area were already closed for the day. At 8.30pm. Poor me went home hungry and decided I was too lazy to go out again, so had instant noodles accompanied by my trusty AXN for dinner.

I was exposed to a new brand of rootbeer at lunch. It’s called Mug and it tastes almost like ANW rootbeer… and speaking of ANW and I have not seen a single ANW shop in Singapore! Why ar? Ooh, I’m gonna go try a MOS burger for lunch today since everyone has been leaving comments on my blog raving how they are the greatest thing invented since…… toasted bread with kaya & butter. Wait, is there really anything greater than tosted bread with kaya & butter?

I’ll pop by Sim Lim to check out their wares soon. I really need to get my hands on a camera so I can start taking pictures. It’s so dull to just keep reading words right? I asked around and the feedback was that Sim Lim was Singapore’s answer to our Low Yat plaza. There’s another also, called Funan complex or something.

Despite how we used to be one nation, people here are a little different. In their behaviour, character and mentality. I still can't put my finger on it or articulate it, yet. It was quite evident when I was at a club last night, an upate which will be kept for the next post since this one is getting a little too long anyway. So wait for it. :)

Hmm, so what should I do today? Think I'll go for a pint at Brewerks. Oh shit. Now you know where to find this bitch if you want to pelt rotten perishables at her for slagging off your country. :P

Friday, October 24, 2008

Day 07: Bugs and Rain

Thanks for offering to be my guide/company and for enticing me with promises of free drinks/food/tour/not being psycho. We could do drinks this weekend or something, since I’ll be around. Anyone up for it? You pay for drinks, and I’ll smile a lot and try not to think about crushing your skull with my bare hands. :P

I think I’m catching a bug. The Singaporean bug. See, every time when I walk behind someone who’s walking too slowly I get agitated enough to want to stab the idiot in front of me with a pen. Or stare really hard at the back of his head, willing my irises to shoot out laser beams into the idiot’s skull, obliterating him into a mountain of dust. Ohmygod I better not lose it. Next thing you’ll know I’m looking forward to the weekends to shop along Orchard Road. ARgh stop me now before it’s too late!!!!

It’s been raining almost everyday here. My tiny umbrella isn’t working so good, might have to buy a new one soon before the rain rips it apart while I’m using it. Speaking of umbrellas, I came across this really cute thing which I’m certain will never happen in Malaysia. One shopping mall was offering umbrellas to passersby’s who had to cross the open road to get to the next one. So the passerby would be offered the umbrella, then he’ll use it to cross the road, once on the other side, he passes the umbrella back to the other guy who works at the other shopping mall. Cute concept no?

Heh. A couple of people thought I was no older than 24-25. Flattered like mad leh :P

And for some strange reason, I’ve always thought tortoises were amphibians. They look like they are more related to lizards, frogs and newts more than crocodiles don’t you think?

Goodnight!

Thursday, October 23, 2008

Day 06: Changi, Bak Kut Teh, Pretty Bags

How does one know that they’ve touched down in Changi and not KLIA? Go to the toilet. Look for the toilet seat sanitizer. Try it. If it works, you’re NOT in KLIA. I know because I have tried many toilet stalls in KLIA in most of my trips to the airport. Not a single one of those thingamajigs work. But in Changi? The very first one worked, and every one I’ve tried after that, works too. Malaysia toilets 0 : Singapore toilets 1. Every other public toilet in Singapore I’ve visited was dry, filled with toilet tissues, doesn’t stink, is clean. Malaysia toilets 0 : Singapore toilets 4. Why can’t we fucking KEEP OUR TOILETS CLEAN. Singapore was once part of Malaysia! They can’t have evolved much more than us!!! This is completely unacceptable man!!! We have the internet, the twin towers, our own fucking national car(s), bluetooth technology, satellite tv and yet we can’t keep our toilets clean and in working order what kind of ridiculous third world fucked up tree-living mentality is this COME ON.

I’ve asked a few Singaporeans about the tissue paper thing, but until now, nobody can explain how it came about. Dissapointed. But I shall persevere.

Had bak kut teh for dinner today. Another disappointment. Well, it wasn’t as bad as the first time Singaporean bak kut teh I ever had, which was basically black pepper soup. Ugh. The bak kut teh I had tonight was almost like what we might have in Malaysia, except it’s a hundred times more diluted to the point where the herbal taste is nothing more than a subtle hint, a lingering memory of what it used to be. And you know what sucks the most. It smelt so good! It looked so good! But once you taste it… ARGHHH YOU ARE DOING IT WRONG. WHY MUST EVERY FREAKING PIECE OF SHIT FOOD I HAVE HERE TASTE SO BLAND WHY WHY WHY. HULKRAGE STOMP ON FOOD STALLS. Malaysia 10000 : Singapore -100000. One of the only 3 major reasons stopping me from liking Singapore too much is THE FOOD THE FOOD THE FOOD OHGODWHYYYYY WHYYYYYYYY ARE YOU GUYS NOT GETTING IT RIGHT!!!! Eating food here is like eating… water. There’s only so much bland food a Malaysian can take without having to suppress the strong of urge of killing yourself. Oh well. One man’s meat, is another man’s…. plain boiled water.

I noticed that in the business centre every other female is carrying some kind of high-end bag. Chanel, Coach, LV, Dior, Gucci. I bet if someone did a survey, they will find that almost every other woman owns at least 2-3 branded bags each. Fake or not. Problem is I don’t know if I should envy them. Work so hard. Spend so much time at work. Pour so much sweat, effort and blood into that deadline. Earn so much money. Buy more pretty things. It feels, rather empty and shallow. Sure it’s really nice to earn pretty things all the time – but is that really it? Earning money just to own a bunch of stuff? I know that the people behind multibillion dollar industry will tell you that I’m just a poor sad sour grape but I want more than just pretty things. I would love to have a bunch of niceties but at the end of the day, they are just things. Not experiences. Not value added. It doesn’t make me a better person (though it sure could make me a prettier person haha). But what does, really?

Work hard. buy stuff. work hard. buy stuff. work hard. buy stuff. how can we ever find real happiness like that ar?

I’m still holding on to the dream where I’d make enough money to start my travel around the world stint some day. So much to see. So much to taste. So much to experience. So much to learn. So much to blog about (hahaha). Some day. Soon, I hope. Soon.

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Day 05: Cold Storage & Tissue Paper

Tarpaued 3 bucks of leftover sushi from cold storage and 1.20 worth of yoghurt for dinner tonight.
Feeling a little lonesome and tired, but it’s nothing some beer and cheesy satellite tv can’t cure. 

I can’t believe that freaking charge you extra 25 cents for chilled drinks. I will never, ever buy chilled drinks from Cold storage here anymore. 25 cents is like 60 over cents okay. Can make 6 minute phone call already, tiu.

I must tell you the strangest thing they do in Singapore. Here, when you want to go makan anywhere, you will inevitably find tissue packets on empty tables. Now, these tissue packets are not litter, neither were they left behind because it’s really cheap in Singapore and people can’t be bothered to remember to take their tissues with them. But it’s a curious system of … table reservations. That’s right. If you see tissue paper packets on tables, do not take it and throw it away. Instead, you need to go and look for another table as those tables with tissue packets are BOOKED. It’s rather strange how the people are generous enough to bother respecting tissue packets and letting it sit there as if it’s a person. Especially in a society as self-absorbed as this, haha. Can anybody explain to me how this came about? I’d be very disappointed if there is no interesting story of history behind this strange phenomenon.

Oh shit. It’s past 12 already, how can that be? It was only 10pm 10 minutes ago man, wtf. Damn. Time passes by too quickly when you’re multitasking and up to your neck with worries.

Goodnight!

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Day 04 & 04.5: Subway, Anthems, Weekend Crowds, Borders, Karaoke

This was written on Sunday, while I was waiting for my flight back to Malaysia. For some unknown reason the wifi died while I was updating halfway and half of my post was eaten up by the cyber monster. Here are most of it anyway.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

At the airport bar right now using their wifi and er, having a pint of kilkenny. WHAT? It's 12.45pm already lah.
Didn't expect myself to go home so soon, but had to go back to settle some matters. Day counter will stop when I'm back home and resume when I go back to Singapore.

Couldn't believe my eyes when I found out that the Subway here was non-halal. Much to the chagrin of my Singaporean mates, I just had to have a Subway sandwhich with some PIG in it. It's not as if we don't get pork at home. It's just that we don't get pork in most of our fastfood franchises and when I do chance upon one that do I just HAVE to find out what I'm missing!! Most fastfood restaurants here are halal by the way, which I find kind of odd since Islam isn't the state religion. I heard that Carl's Juniors is non-halal thought, which whill obviously have to be checked out soon. Anyway, I had myself a Italian BMT or something, and the only difference between this and the halal version is that this one is much saltier. Guess I'm not missing too much.

It is confirmed. Most Singaporeans don't understand what their national anthems mean. For those unaware, their national anthem is in Malay and the only 2 words that they know is "majulah singapura". I have heard from a couple of friends from Singapore about this weird phenomenon but I just had to hear it from the horses' mouth. Nobody can explain to my why their national anthem is in malay though, other than because it's a legacy thing. Guys at NS barely understand what their commands mean either, because the commands are given out in malay. Hehe, this is both strange and funny at the same time.

Yesterday, I decided I'd take a walk along Orchard Road. Oh my god. The sea of people on the streets is enough to scare anybody off and have them hurrying backs to their homes. I swear if I sat in a helicopter which overs over Orchard Road it'll look like a sea of ants bustling around in some sort of an activity. I walked into Borders and it was PACKED like nobody's business, as if there's a warehouse sell going on.

I guess one thing both our nations have in common is that we all flock to shopping complexes on the weekends. Difference is that while we idly only congest the shopping aisles, and target shops on discount, the women AND men in Singapore pack into luxury high-end label shops, like it's on sale, when it isn't. There's a freaking queue outside the LV store and you know that LV never goes on sale. Kesimpulannya, either the 1)the average working Singaporean earns more than the average working Malaysian 2)things are so much cheaper for a Singaporean in Singapore than a Malaysian in Malaysia. Either way, it's bad for us. :(

There was a kiddy corner in Borders. A guy on his guitar and this girl singing and waving her hands about. The kids were happily imitating her, while their proud parents watched. It's sooo cute. Do we have this in Borders back home?

I had a quick karaoke session with my colleagues on Friday. Most of them (men included) did NOT touch a drop of alcohol. I couldn't for the life of me understand how one can be at a karaoke joint and not have alcohol. It's the only way you can tolerate other people's wonderful singing with a smile on your face, hahaha. And just in case any of them reads my stupid blog - no, you guys don't sing too badly. I guess that's why alcohol wasn't really necessary. :P

K lah. Time to go.

Saturday, October 18, 2008

Day 03: Books, Emerald Hill & Incoming Calls

I'm walking so much to everywhere it's ridiculous. No wonder I'm so tired at night. I just pass out, sleep a dreamless sleep, and then wake up feeling as though an elephant had sat on me all night. But I'm glad I'm walking more - it's still some form of exercise and any form of exercise is good for my lazy, aging, disintegrating self. haha.

This is not just a singaporean phenomenon. More like a global stupid idiotic assholes movement. There's a special breed of people who insist on using the lift to go to just ONE floor. WHAT? Can't use the stairs? It's fine if it happens for just one floor, but if it happens at every other floor I'm ready to bash the next idiot's skull in with my bare hands. The only acceptable reason why anybody can do that without having their skulls bashed in is if they are on wheelchairs. Otherwise a curse of a thousand boils on your backside, asswipes.

Books are so much cheaper here. IF you are Singaporean. Imagine, a book by Barack Obama, "Dreams from my father" costs a Singaporean about SGD21.50 at Kinokuniya, while it costs a Malaysian about RM38.50 at MPH. Don't forget, a typical Singaporean earns much more than a tyical Malaysian. It's just simply unacceptable. Can somebody explain why they make it so expensive for us to want to instil the habit of reading in Malaysia? Isn't reading a GOOD thing? Shouldn't they encourage us to read by making books CHEAPER? Gah. I bought the book anyway. :)

I also wanted to get my hands on Jenna Jameson's "How to make love like a pornstar", which is an autobiography of her, and not freaking porn novel. Actually, it's an autobiography disguised as a porn novel, woot. I doubt I will ever find this in Malaysia and was dissapointed that they ran out of stock, haih.

Emerald Hill is always ALWAYS PACKED. I'm beginning to hate that place, in a sour grape sort of way. Too many people, too noisy, too many expats. Also plenty of locals. Didn't know Singaporeans were a bunch of alcoholics? Heh. A pint of draught Hoegaarden at a place called Ice Cold Beer (how very clever and original. geez. rolls eyes) costs about SGD19 nett. Typically it's about RM25 and above in Malaysia. Sigh. A can of Killkenny costs like SGD6 something. In Malaysia - WHAT KILKENNY CAN??!?! SIGH.

My god, do you want to know a random thing about Singapore? You freaking pay for incoming calls when you're on a prepaid plan. WHAT KIND OF CRAZY SHIT IS THAT. WHY DO THEY MAKE YOU PAY FOR CALLS OTHER PPL MAKE TO YOU. DON'T THEY ALREADY MAKE MONEY FROM PEOPLE WHO MAKE THE EXTERNAL CALLS. All the freaking phonelines do this. WHY. WHY. WHY. It completely boggles the tiny mind. But I bought myself a prepaid line anyway. It'll be cheaper than going on roaming. Now, on to get a really cheap basic phone.

Drinking my Puramilk now. Low far hi-cal type. OMG it tastes just like the original, and none of that weird articificial tasting milk we're so prone of drinking in Malaysia. Sigh. Sold by the milk. The milk the milk the milk. I'm a simple fellow with simple needs. :)

K lah. Tired d, goodnight.

Friday, October 17, 2008

Day 02: Old People Work Here

Wow. lots of really old retired people are actually working very hard here. Instead of putting them on welfare or homes the government here makes them work hard for the money. Good thing I guess. Keeps them active and give them a purpose in life, and a sense of independence. I guess.

People are always in a rush. I'm starting to walk as fast too. Hahaha.

Can't update anymore. Feeling too tired. Need to pass out. Thinks it's from all the walking. At least I'm exercising. :)

Goodnight.

Thursday, October 16, 2008

Day 01: First Impressions

Updates in pointform! Because they are short and sweet and thanks to MTV everybody's attention span has been reduced to more or less a negative thousand.

Everything's so clean. All the signs are in English. So many Chinese people. It's very surreal.

Everything looks the same for some strange reason - it makes me feel so lost. I have absolutely no idea where I am.

The variety of shit in terms of products they have here is just mindboggling. WHy don't we have it in Malaysia too? WHY? We're just right on TOP.

Too hot. TOO HOT. It's not as if they don't have trees here. And both countries are on the khatulistiswa Must be the solar pollution from all the skyscrappers yang memantuli the cahaya to the ground.

It irks me like nobody's business when I hear people say "shook" instead of "syiok". Why why WHY do they insist on saying it as SHOOK?

My first lunch at some so-called popular hawker spot - pan mien. BLAND. I shudder at how my eating days here will be like. But dinner was okay - had tai chow near my place. Kailan and hotplate beef. Yum! Just feaking expensive though. :( Where to eat decent food in the city (besides fast food) but doesn't cost an arm and leg ar?

Bought some groceries at Cold Storage and OMG PURAMILKK!!!!!!!!111one. The first time I ever had one of those was more than 10 years ago! I hope there's no melanine in this sucker because I happily grabbed a carton and am now quivering in anticipation to have a taste of it.

KILLKENNY IN CANS. ZOMG. GRAB IT.

I actually bought some grapes - trying to do the healthy thing early because I KNOW later on I won't give 2 fucks anymore.

Kept converting all my SGD purchases into RM, can't help it, force of habit. When you see it dollar for dollar it's like damn cheap, but after multiplying it by 2.41 OUCHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! Seriously way cheaper to be Singaporean in Singapore than Malaysian in Malaysia. Sigh.

Unlucky with a glass of red sangria tonight. The most horrible foul tasting shit I ever had the unfortunate luck to taste. For some fucking odd reason, this sangria 1) had foams on top 2) no fruits 3) no punch taste 4) had a hint of coconut liquer which I absolutely fucking hate with a vengeance. This is the second time in a row I've had bad cocktails in Singapore. WHAT'S UP WITH THAT? Is it just me or is this really the singaporean way of making their cocktails? ohgodhelpme if the latter is true.

Thank god for the internet.

Btw, if you are a friend, and you want to keep in touch with me, email me for my singapore number k? :)

The whole pad to myself. Nice. I could even walk around naked if I wanted to. Heh.

Goodnight!

Friday, October 10, 2008

WNF 9681

so I am happily cruising down a straight road when this bitch with a death wish suddenly turns INTO the road which causes me to slam onto my breaks to avoid a collision with her.

you and i who have studied for damn undang test know very well that the car on the straight road as the right of way and that it is NOT RIGHT for the other car in the junction to NOT look both ways before he/she makes a turn into the straight road. Not because it is the right thing to do, but because it is the thing you do if you DONT WANT TO KILL YOURSELF.

YOU FUCKING HAG. Just because you are old doesnt mean that traffic ethics does not apply you!!! HULKRAGE!

Wednesday, October 8, 2008

I Hate Friends.

WAIT! before you die-hard fans start to pelt stones and roadkill at me... I used to like it!

When it first came out god knows how many donkey years ago I thought it was one of the funniest sitcoms I have ever laid my eyes on and got hooked on it immediately. How can anyone not love it, it was so refreshingly funny and clever!

Then they brought in the romance between Ross and Rachel.

Which was okay at first. Kind of sweet. It's part of their character development, fine.

then it was on.

then off.

then on.

then off.

on off on off on off on off on off on off on off on off on off

and this went on for 10 fucking seasons.

when it's on they fuck it up.
when it's off they get jealous by each other
when it's on they fuck it up again
when it's off they want each other
when it's on they hate each other
when it's off they go ballistic when they see the other with someone else
ETC ETC ETC ETC FOR TEN SEASONS?

FUCKING GET ON WITH IT LAH SERIOUSLY.

That's no longer milking it to the bone. That's taking the bone, smashing it to pieces, putting the pieces into a giant one thousand house powered blender to liquify it.

The stupid ross and rachel romance thing completely KILLED the sitcom for me.

And now they are showing the showing the damn reruns. Every single fucking night.

NO.

Friday, October 3, 2008

Stop Feeding Me!

Juan, my old friend from Colombia, was here on a business trip and extended his stay here for a visit. I have not seen that guy for almost 7 years and if he hadn't dropped by I probably would've never seen him again.

Apparently Juan has been warned about Malaysian Hospitality.

- A typical Malaysian will overfeed his foreign visitor.

Something which we have been doing since we met him, hahah!

Monday, September 29, 2008

Sure It's Not A Sunday?

I shall retire from clubbing.
Because the music is starting to suck.
The crowd is getting too much to take.
The kids are getting too young.
And the smoke is getting unbearable.
But I will never stop drinking. :P

As I woke up to get ready, I see my sister still sleeping happily.
The roads were too clear today.
There were too many empty parking lots.
The office is too quiet.
Damn no mood to work.

Do you know the name of the tree where its leaves are in the shape of a crescent?
And when they fall off, it falls in the shape of a brown crescent, or a mess of twirls.
I love stepping on the twirly mess.
It makes a very crispy C-R-U-N-C-H sound.
It's almost theraupatic.

Seriously, what's up with Will from Red.fm.
Now you see him now you don't.
Why no explanation?
Everybody else sucks, really.
There's no more reason to live.

Getting ready for Singapore.
Mentally, that is.
Can't be ALL that bad.
I'm sure there's edible food somewhere.
And not too expensive drinking places.
At least the MRT is nice, big, and clean.
And some labels are cheaper in Singapore than over here.
But I guess we'll see.

Can't wait for Wednesday and Thursday.
:D :D :D :D

Sunday, September 28, 2008

old don't old.

think i might be getting too old and impatient for clubs with shitty music, non-existent ventilation and overcrowded.... crowds.

hot young things who flaunt it make me feel old a bit. sigh.

More later. Pictures! woot!

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Hello? Can Hear Me Or Not?

Sometimes when I say something, nobody seems to be listening.

Are they just ignoring me on purpose or do I actually have a speech impediment?

By the way, if I'll be in Singpore for 2-3 months for work, what should I look out for? Where's the happening place to check out? Where would be my favourite places?

Tuesday, September 23, 2008

Crazy

Sometimes when I'm driving and I see pedestrians walking by the roadside, I get this weird flash imagery of me driving them over and they'd fall over like pins in a bowling alley.

Monday, September 22, 2008

Guess Who's 27 Today?

Happy Birthday Suanie!
May you never run out of Starbucks coffee.

..... and good food.

*hugs*

Thursday, September 18, 2008

Back

Feels like a grand piano was dropped off a 1000 storey building and landed on me.

What did I miss?

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

Not Quite An Update Either

16th September already. Did the earth move for you? I feel nothing. Don't want to care about what's going on already because if you care too much you'll end up bitter or depressed or both.

I swear that in that song, "Sexy Can I".... he says "pardon my mammoth". Go listen to it.

WILL OF RED.FM! WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU. THERE IS NO MORE REASON FOR ME TO LISTEN TO MORNING RADIOS ANYMORE. NO ONE UNDERSTANDS. IT'S COLD AND DARK. PLEASE COME BACK.

Call me an ah lian but I am losing my head over that fairly new song by david Guetta & Chris Willis called Love is Gone. Please give me mp3 kthx.

Anything good to watch in the cinema? Haven't watched anything since.. Wall-E.

my rash is back. It's fucking itchy. I'm losing my mind trying not to scratch.

Off for yet another business trip packed with back to back meetings. bye.

Monday, September 15, 2008

And We Wait.

Tmrw is the 16th. Wonder what kind of new horrors will be unleashed upon us.

Monday, September 8, 2008

Busy

no updates this week sorry.

Feel free to trash the comment box.

kthx

Friday, September 5, 2008

Puasa

Happy puasaing to you people who do it.

I'm surrounded by people who do it.

It's fine except I forget what time lunch is because nobody moves.

I've missed lunch 2 days already, just because nobody moved.

What a dimwit. :(

I curi-curi makan mango now.

Feeling a bit guilty actually. Coz I know my colleagues haven't ate the whole day, and here I am stuffing my face with mango, kekekekek.

Come ajak me for lunch! :P

(pay for me even better wahkakakakakKAKAKAKakaKAKak. I poor. :( )

Wednesday, September 3, 2008

Coke.

I have a sudden craving for Coke in a big clear plastic bag full of big chunks of ice.

And the Coke needs to come from a glass bottle.

Because it tastes so much better than from a can.

Or does it?

Tuesday, September 2, 2008

yearghhhhhhh

where did the bloodyw weekend go?!?!?!?!?!

Saturday, August 30, 2008

OMG OMG OMG

BAJET! BUDGET 2009 IS HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!

I cant watch lah. :(

BUT PLEASE TELL ME ABOUT SIN TAX WHEN YOU HEAR IT!!!!

Thursday, August 28, 2008

Mum and Her (Fairly) New Crocs

*toot toot. toot toot. toot toot.*

“Ma”

“Har. What you want”

Want free Crocs?”

“Wah. Really ah? Why ah? Why so special suddenly?”

“No lah. There, I wrote a line about how we wanted to get you a pair of Crocs, but you didn’t want it in the end because too expensive for something so plastic looking. They didn’t like that we thought it was plastic, and wanted to proof that it isn’t*. So they are offering to give you a free pair for mother’s day lah! Want or not! If don’t want I take for myself haha!”

“Want lah! Of course want! I don’t get free stuff often okay! Some more expensive stuff! Take!”

*at the store*

“Haiyah. Why must they make the shoes so ugly ah.”

“Hehe, What to do. Sensible stuff usually not pretty wan mah. Go try the shoes lah. The nice girl will help you”

*after 15 minutes*
*outside the store*

“Eh I want to wear my new Crocs now”

“Hehehe. Just now say people’s shoes so ugly, now want to wear lah”

“Of course lah. New thing must show off mah!”


P8170351
mum's really expensive sandals!

"Wah your heels very high lah. You're almost as tall as me now”

“Yarloh. Long time never wear high heels already. You know, last time I always wear high heels one okay. Now can not. Give me knee pain and back ache mah.”

"Mm. I know. So how is the air from here? Fresher or not?

“Haha, very funny lah you.

“So? Happy or not?”

“Happy! Of course happy! Not everyday I get presents wan okay!”

P8170355
put on your blog one ar? ok ok must smile pretty pretty.

“Wei, didn't I get you that expensive canggih, sexy, slim, handphone with mp3 player which is even more canggih than mine for your birthday?”

“Oh yar hor. Oops. Hehe”

“Cheh. So fast forget. Some more use everyday. Hmph.”

Epilogue:

Thank you Crocs Asia and Pinang Medical Supplies for making my mum’s day! Despite what she said about them being ugly, she was positively beaming over her new pair of goodies. For the rest of the day I could do no wrong, heh!

It has been a many months since and my mum is still loving her pair of Crocs!

P8170363
i also can act kiut what!


*Yup, it's really not plastic! It's made of some resin-like material called Croslite.

Wednesday, August 27, 2008

Re: The Beijing Olympics Closing Ceremony

What in the world was Rain doing there?

Monday, August 25, 2008

The Devil Wears Prada

I watched it for the 37th time just 2 nights ago. The first time I ever watched it, I thought it was too slow and boring and I couldn't hear wtf meryl was saying half the time. or maybe the real reason I didn't like it the first time was because it was a bad cinema copy.

But I watched it again anyway, because I'm so crazy like that. Again and again I watched it. And the movie grew onto me. Suddenly Anne's character felt like it has so much depth. Suddenly the movie had so much resemblance to what's going on in real life. It was as if the producers captured all the mechanics of how real life really works and summarised it all in that one movie.

Anne is this simple girl who has a dream of becoming a writer. Unfortunately no one's hiring for the moment and she finds herself hired as a PA to this crazy boss from a hugely popular fashion magazine.

She wants to do a good job and sit through it for a year (good for the ye olde resume). But that would mean submerging her whole self into work, because her boss is one hard to please pain in the ass. If that isn't bad enough, the boss is so well-known, respected and feared in the industry that if Anne fucks up - she might never had the chance to write anywhere ever again.

Seems like Anne is this really nice girl who wants to do what she thinks is the right thing. By her, and by everyone else around her. She loves her family, boyfriend and her friends who she spends a lot of time with and have known since forever. And to her, they are their priority.

Were her priority. Until she lands herself on this job. Her world takes a 180 degrees about turn and her priority now is her boss and the job. She's late for every party and meeting with her friends. She even misses her boy's birthday party because she had no choice but to work overtime. She couldn't even enjoy dinner with her family she hardly sees. Family, boy and friends - they take a backseat.

But why? Only because she wants to do a fantastic job and want to get ahead. And in her pursuit of that goal - she morphs into this completely different person. Now her friends shun her and her relationship is hanging by the thread. Just because she wanted to do a good job.

But she's still a nice girl and a bit of a people pleasing doormat. Nice girls are usually like. And are prone to being affected by what other people think of her. Especially when the other people are the people she cares about. So what does she do?

She realises that she's turning into this self-preserving, self-centred, do whatever it takes to get ahead, career obsessed bitch. She doesn't like it. She quits. The end.

At first I liked the ending - girl thinks she's turning into a bitch, quits. But the more I watched it, the less satisfying it became. There were issues which wouldn't stop nagging at me.

If she wanted to do the best she possible can at her job - what's so wrong about that? Who were her friends and family judge and shun her? Especially that wimpy boyfriend of hers, that cook with a learner's license or something like that, earning jack. Who the fuck was he to keep giving her shit and not even trying to understand her for wanting to put more effort into her job which would secure her future later on?

What about that gay guy? He's the one who finishes the boss's sentence. Who knows exactly what the boss thinks and likes or dislikes. The boss's decision is his decision. He never overwrites her, never disagrees with her. To him, she is always right about everything. He deson't have a thought of his own. He repeats everything she says in his own voice. Does he go very far? Apparently he does. He's the boss's pet. But no matter how loyal or good he was, he still got screwed in the end - because the boss used him for her own benefit. I really felt bad for this guy, because I really did like his character. But in real life, pets are usually not very likeable, are they?

What bugged me the most was Meryl's character. What she said to Anne in scene where they were both in the car - about how the only real way to climb the corporate ladder is to be as conniving, self-preserving, calculative, back-stabbing, two-faced, fake like she was. How relevant is that to the real world? When you think about it, does it mean to go anywhere in life, to be somebody, one just needs to be a self-centred, manipulative, conniving jerk who doesn't give a shit about what other people think of them? And you know what's the scary thing? It might actually be true. You KNOW people like that.

There are so many characters in this movie that seemed relevant to real life - the haughty senior colleague, the scoundrel, the pleaser, the friends, the shareholder... But this post is already long enough as it is.

Do you think this movie is a fair representation of what happens in real life?

Friday, August 22, 2008

No Escape

Herro. Feeling a little bit tired from yesterday's one day business trip to the south.

Suddely depressed a bit.

Ever felt sick of having to work for everything you want?

Tired tired tired.

Think I need a break.

From everything.

Maybe it's just the PMS.

Oh well.

At least it's Friday already.

Wednesday, August 20, 2008

Avril, Don't Avril.

I really don't give a rat's ass if Avril comes or not but why WHY WHY WHY is it SO HARD for the authorities to grow some fucking balls and spine, MAKE a decision from the get go and then STAND by it?

Does anybody have any fucking clue how bloody ridiculous it is to see this kind of stupid inconsistent headlines every other day?

Avril set to rock KL on Aug 29
PAS Youth wants Avril show cancelled
PAS Youth slammed for calling for ban on show
Groups slam call to ban concert
Poser over Canadian rocker Avril’s concert
Support for Avril concert
Avril concert definitely on, say organisers


And surprise surprise:

Malaysia cancels 'too sexy' Avril Lavigne concert

..... and that headline is not even from any of our local paper's websites.

"It’s not good for viewers in Malaysia. We don’t want our people, our teenagers, influenced by their performance. We want clean artists, artists that are good role models.”

As if ALL our local acts are clean, good role models. What The Fuck.

Obviously every single international paper and publication WILL take this opportunity to pounce on it and once again our beloved tanah tumpah darah kita is made an international laughing stock. Over such a stupid trivial issue. Kita Memang Boleh.

Monday, August 18, 2008

Why Did Lee Chong Wei Kecundang

Wah my heart found it so hard to keep beating after watching Lee C W getting his assed TRASHED by his opponent last night. So sad. :( WHY LEE C W WHY DID YOU LET HIM OWN YOUR ASS LIKE IT WAS A WALK IN THE PARK!

And why did they print out your name on the telly as CHONG Wei Lee. -_-" Stupid white people. Did you notice that?

But he would still be the first guy to earn Malaysia a medal. Finally. Damn shy man. Tonnes of other 3rd world and 4th world countries who can't even access to basic necessities like electricity and clean water are bagging medals already but our dear country is not even in the damn list yet until last night. SHY OR NOT. BOLEH MY ASS LAH. Oops. Better stop using my ass my ass here and there, seeing that the talk of other people's ass and what other people did with it is still the hot topic of the season. WHO GIVES A SHIT LAH SERIOUSLY. STOP PULLING OUT ALL THESE CIRCUS ACTS AND START RUNNING THE COUNTRY PROPERLY ALREADY MOFOS.

Anyway, back to LEE C W. I'm so angry loh. You know why am I so angry? I am bloody pissed off because I know Lee could've done so much better than that. Didn't you think he could've done better? Anyway, apart from the fact that his opponent seemed to be the much better player, and it was China's home ground and various other reasons, I fear that there was also another major reason why Lee C W kecundang.

It was because of the contingent uniform he was wearing.

WTF I heard you say. HIS CLOTHES? How does a stupid piece of material have ANY effect on the quality of play? Stop trying to make up sorry pathetic excuses for the fact that WE STINK. Are you freaking of your bloody mind you stupid drunkard?

Hear me out one minute lah aiyoh why so fierce on a Monday morning?

First, go check out what they are wearing. It's a loose, black coloured, sleeved t-shirt right?

Okay. Now let me continue with my argument.

The T-shirt is black!!!

Any dimwit (who took some basic science in school) WILL KNOW that WARNA HITAM MENYERAP CAHAYA. MENYERAP CAHAYA MEANS WHAT. MEANS it will keep the wearer WARM. Which is why we mostly see dull, dark colours for WINTER SEASON CLOTHES. So WHY are we trying to make it feel like a freaking SAUNA for our ATHLETES while they are competing? Already the players are sweating like no tomorrow, to the point where the sweat is dripping off their shirts from the intensity of the game itself so does it really make sense TO MAKE IT HARDER ON THEM by making THEM WEAR BLACK TO KEEP THE WARMTH IN YOU STUPID BUNCH OF CRONIES WHO DON'T GIVE A SHIT ABOUT THE WELL BEING OF OUR PLAYERS EXCEPT HOW MANY PERCENT YOU CAN PUT INTO YOUR POCKET BY SUB-CONNING THE MAKING OF TSHIRT TO YOUR BEST FRIEND!

Second point - EVERYBODY KNOWS that black is a BAD LUCK FENG SHUI COlour. And don't give me stupid excuses like how only the chinese believe in feng shui. Don't you know ALL RACES who do business BELIEVE in some form of FENG SHUI TODAY? I have Malay friends and their family who follow almost religiously the principles of feng shui. Black as the bad luck colour is almost common sense now. Ask any other WHITE dude also he knows that black is a bad luck colour. AND BLACK ISN'T EVEN OUR NATIONAL FLAG COLOUR. Don't be a fucking wiseass by saying GOT BLACK WHAT. THE OUTLINE LEH? Hahaha now please do us all a favour by throwing yourself out of the window of a tall building. Apakah warna bendera kita? MERAH. PUTIH. BIRU dan KUNING. MANA HITAM? ADA HITAM KE KAT BENDERA KITA! KALAU TAKDE HABIS KENAPA GUNA HITAM BODOH! Want to make them look cool and mat rock is it. THIS IS NOT A FUCKING FASHION SHOW LAH. NATIONS SPEND MILLION OF DOLLARS TO RESEARCH THE BEST MATERIALS TO HELP THEIR ATHLETES PERFORM BETTER IN THE OLYMPICS. BUT WE? What do we fucking do? Oh use black lah, it looks cool. STUPID!!!! Actually, you wanna save money by using basic colour is it? USE LAH FUCKING WHITE. PUTIH MEMANTUL CAHAYA OKAY. IT WOULD ACTUALLY HELP HIM KEEP COOLER ALSO. TWO BIRDS WITH ONE STONE. See so BLOODY simple you FREAKING MONEY SUCKING IMBECILES WHO DON'T GIVE A SHIT ABOUT THE WELL BEING OF OUR PLAYERS EXCEPT HOW MANY PERCENT YOU CAN PUT INTO YOUR POCKET BY SUB-CONNING THE MAKING OF TSHIRT TO YOUR BEST FRIEND!

Lastly - why is the damn t-shirt with sleeves? WHY. Everytime I watched our players playing I realise that they ALL do the same damn thing in between games - they keep trying to PUSH UP THE DAMN SLEEVES. Why do they keep doing that did you wonder? Well common sense screamed in my face for becing such an idiot and said "It'S BECAUSE THE DAMN SLEEVES IS IN THE FUCKING WAY THat'S WHY. IT's WET from ALL THE SWEAT and it's sticking onto their SKIN, PISSING THEM OFF, DUH!". Oh yeah hor. Did you see that China player? He was wearing SLEEVELESS and having a time of his life trashing our poor friend. Oh, you mean they wanted to sleeves to tutup aurat is it? Well then Sherlock, the fact that they were wearing SHORT SHORTS TOTALLY THROWS THAT LAME EXCUSE OUT OF THE WINDOW DOESNT IT. If really want to tutup aurat then MAKE THEM ALL WEAR TRACKPOINTS LAH MAHAI. What is the point of making it with sleeves? Waste cloth, waste money only. If those people had bothered to see how our players play on the courts they would REALISE THAT SLEEVES ARE STUPID! Bloody bitches WHO DON'T GIVE A SHIT ABOUT THE WELL BEING OF OUR PLAYERS EXCEPT HOW MANY PERCENT YOU CAN PUT INTO YOUR POCKET BY SUB-CONNING THE MAKING OF TSHIRT TO YOUR BEST FRIEND!

And that, ladies and gentlemen are my arguments for what I think is one of the major reasons why our dear Lee Chong Wei kecundang in his game.

But okay lah Mr Lee! I'm still proud of you! First Malaysian medal! Yeay! I'm now going to use the typical Malaysian Boleh consolation for everytime we do badly and claim that 1) it's better than nothing, and 2) at least we are on par with Singapore. haha. hahahah. hah. I'm so funny right? Bleh.