Thursday, November 30, 2006

Is it?

Is it harassment when a straight female gawks at another straight female who is so skimpily dressed that her butt cheeks are literally peeking out of her hot pants while she's exercising at a gym?


Tag:

Wednesday, November 29, 2006

Some Sort Of An Update.

Yesterday got crazy spike in traffic.

What were you fuckers looking for ah?

I see a lot of search for "bachelors".

Sorry ah. Here no bachelors. Only have bachelorette.

Who eats babies. And wash them down with vodka. Then watch reruns of Spongebob Squarepants. And cry herself to sleep at night.

Bai.


Oh wait. Need to say something related to Takebacktech. See Lainie, I'm so nice.

Sometimes I hate TV. Billboard ads. Magazines. Newspapers. Giant posters.

Everything with advertisements on it.

They make me feel inadequate. And ugly.

Makes me sad. So sad I have to write bad haiku.

Models are so hot.
Perfect pouts, perfect bodies.
HULKRAGE crush 'em all.

In the end, female's perspective of perfect beauty is really dictated by men, thanks to the powers of advertisements and technology.

You put on that pretty skirt, that IN top, the pair of cute shoes, those mod accesories, ply your face with tonnes of fab make up - for who?

If you say it's JUST for yourself then you're fucking lying out of your ass. You sure as hell don't go to the club dressed in your hottest outfit to try to get your OWN attention.

HULKRAGE crush 'em all.


Tag:

Tuesday, November 28, 2006

Stop The Harassment.

Fuck. Am in the office too early in the morning. Just remembered I owe Lainie some write up about some campaign.

So here I am doing a very bad job at trying to create some awareness about ICT and VAW.

Click on the picture for more info. Please.

masthead

Last Saturday, Lainie tells me to write something everyday for the next 16 days. I didn't have a flying fucking clue that it was supposed to start last Saturday. I didn't have a flying fucking clue what I was supposeed to write about.

"But what am I suppose to write about? I don't have a flying fucking clue what ICT has anything to do with VAW"

"post something about the how you think violence against women connects with information communications technology? have a story? heard something quirky? snap a picture? think this is serious? doesn't make much sense? anything at all! just post one thing a day from 25 nov to 10 dec on thinking about violence against women"

"......"

So here is my story.

Lainie bugged me via MSN to help promote this campaign for her.
For hours.
She wouldn't stop going on about it.
I wanted to get her to shut the fuck up.
So I promised her this post.
And this is a perfect example of harrassment via the internet.
The end.

You have a story? Share it. Share it now.

More:
Official website
The Suan, has been doing the everyday thing.
lainie too.

Tag:

Fairy's Singles Party.

Sorry no updates long time. Been a crazy week.

Please be appeased with some one liners and pictures I got from Fairy's singles party last Friday. Had to beg everybody for photos as I was too much of a doofus to snap my own pictures.

Will drown this post with my usual lengthy inanity later. Muahahahah.

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Stuck in between the 2 kinky people.

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All I needed was some good company and drinks. Mingle? What's that?

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Cheesie being hot as usual. Making me feel inadequate. And old.


Here, my mugshots. Take it all bitches. And cry.

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There you go. Be happy.

Please don't eat my hamster okay? My sister will be very sad. :(

Tuesday, November 21, 2006

Filler #1743

Some common searches to my site.

keywords

Once in a while I get funny searches like these:

weird

And this is just from this morning ONLY.

I'm gonna start a compilation.

I worry a little bit, the type of freaks who stalk my site.

But one thing I'm really curios though, how do you make an alcoholic love you?

(and if you blog, what are the weirdest search words have you come across your own blog?)

Monday, November 20, 2006

The Ryan Star At Zouk Report.

So Ryan Star performed at Zouk last Thursday! It was freaking awesome! If you weren't there you totally MISSED OUT! FREE LIVE CONCERT SIAL! But don't worry, here is a recap, just because I am great.

Reshmonu opened the night. He sang a song of some sort which was quite Bangra like, accompanied by some dude on the Indian drum. Nobody boo-ed him. I sorta expected people to since I've always heard opening acts get boo-ed all the time. Malaysians are so civilised. How did we rank so poorly in the bloody courtesy survey again?

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Then the Channel V boys came out to do their thang. Talked a lot. Asked ridiculously simple questions. Gave out freebies. VJ Dom is freaking hot!! Even with the Chinkiest eyes evAr. It is on my to do list to somehow get him to camwhore with me one of these days.

2

Then the Channel V girls came out to do THEIR thang. Talked a lot. Asked ridiculously simple questions. Gave out freebies. While looking very nose bleed inducing at the same time. DAmn these women can multitask. Sarah Tan is SO much hotter in real life. That body of hers DAYAMNN!! It's to KILL her for.

3

Finally after all that obligatory introduction and silly games - we FINALLY see RYAN STAR! WOOT! WOOT! He's so damn TALL standing next to backstage crew and pretty damn cute looking with the whole black eye liner tortured poet image going on for him. Yum! When he's not trying to be all hardcore emo, he's really this witty, down-to-earth guy, with a cheeky sense of humour. Awesome audience connection! It's very, very difficult to dislike him.

And man those pipes on him are fucking ROCKIN'. Singing live is one thing he definitely CAN DO.

4

His first song was performed with the piano. It was an original, and I forgot what the title was. Frankly, I'm not a big fan of his originals. Back of Your Car is the only song I can say I truly like - that also only with a BAND. Not the acoustic version. There's absolutely no doubt about it that Ryan Star is truly a great singer and performer, but the dude seriously needs to hire a good songwriter and a kickass band to take it to ANOTHER LEVEL WHERE WOMEN WILL START THROWING THEIR KNICKERS ON STAGE, you know? That sort of thing.

But man, rock and piano is like chocolate chip and vanilla ice-cream. Yum.

5

The sound system was whacked that night, which really pissed everybody off. More so Ryan. He travelled HUNDREDS of miles to Malaysia to perform barely an hour's worth of concert for FREE (for his fans I mean) and these fuckers can't even GET something as basic as THE SOUND RIGHT?!?!? If I was Ryan I would've freaking spilled some blood and skinned some ass!! ROAR!!!! Ryan was of course visible PISSED off and he quickly excused himself with a "Hang on I'll be right back. Gonna kick some ass", to the roaring approval of the crowd. Fucking awesome balls.

7

And Sarah Tan is just so damn hot. And standing tooooo close to me. I just had to...

8

"No flash photography please". No flash sure, but hell lots of photography! The moment Ryan stepped out, people were whipping out their superduper canggih camphones to steal a piece of him. Me included. And these picture were brought to you by my quite gay Sony Ericsson w810i, by the way. It's growing on me.

9

For his last song "Hole In Head", he's stomping his feet and requesting for the rest of us to do the same. Somewhere towards the end of the song, something happened to the guitar because it got all too quiet. What happened next was fucking awesome! Ryan took off the guitar, freaking threw it to the side of the stage, and finished the last few lines of the song without ANY background music whatsoever to PERFECTION! I nearly died there and then. Fucker REALLY can sing! Like SERIOUS MAD SINGING SKILLZ YO! Like, I want to fucking rip his vocal chords out and make it MINE!

10

Unfortunately Ryan only performed about... 6 songs that night for about 30-45 minutes? Which really sucked for us. I think most of the people who were there that night were anticipating for so much MORE, and expecting something more hardcore loud rock. I myself was expecting him to do more covers from his Rockstar Supernova days, but most of the songs he performed that night were his originals. :( He DID however, perform Back of Your Car and REM's Losing My Religion (that one song that earned him a hundred million points in Rockstar Supernova) which was visibly the crowd favourites! :)

IT ROCKED! If you weren't there you definitely missed out, losers!!111one.

Sadly, I didn't get to camwhore with him so I had to do the next best thing.

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Sorry. Couldn't help myself. Bleh.

More:
Ryan Star's own take of the night.
Reta Hot Chick was there too!
The Suan touched him! Bitch.

Thursday, November 16, 2006

Cinta. The Movie.

cinta 1keyart

Cinta would be the fourth (PGL, Sepet, Gubra. Ada Apa doesn't count, it's Indon.) local Malay movie I've ever seen. I've always shied away from watching local movies for the most obvious reason - they suck. Aw shut up, don't lie, you KNOW they do. Unless you've been stuck in a cave all your life with no television while living on insects and completely missing the evolution process bit....... Anyway. Let's get straight to the point.

Cinta was so much better than expected!!!

It did NOT suck.... But it wasn't perfect either.

What is Cinta about?
In less than 15 words, it's 5 love stories of 10 connected characters, basically a Malaysianised version of Love Actually. But if you're one of the 5 jokers on this planet who hasn't watched Love Actually, then well, I suppose, a warm greeting is in order.

Welcome back to earth! Was it dark and cold up in Uranus?

Why it did not not suck.
The stories were set in the local scene, played by local people, tackling local issues and dilemmas. It was real. It was human. You and I could relate to it. Aren't we all suckers for on-screen realism in fairytales? Rich handsome men who will love you forever through anything and everything? LIES motherfuckers. Feed us with LIES. We thrive on it like fungus on pond scum.

I like the originality in a couple of the stories. I won't bother going into detail which stories they are because I already know which one I like and why. Hehe!

How did the cast do? Sharifah Amani so cute can put in my pocket, though it feels like she may be a tad bit overacting sometimes. Dato' Rahim Razali kicked some ass with Fatima Abu Bakar. And the rest of the cast looked like they just stepped off the fashion runway - freaking hot.

There were 2 side characters in the movie who I think deserves mention. The Central Market Troubadour who was SO real it was fucking hilarious, and the 10 (11?12?) year old Daughter Of Architect who almost made my cold black heart cried WITH her. Give her an award already!

Zainal Abidin's music in the background makes me SO HAPPY!

Not Perfect.
Some shots looked a lot like advertisements you've seen before. In fact some of the ACTORS, I'm pretty sure, were IN those advertisements before. It has to be a bad thing when a movie reminds you of an advertisement, right?

It's a love story lah. What have we NOT seen? It's like the producers got together and binged on Bridget Jones, Notting Hill, Love Actually, and all the other modern English love stories during their brainstorming session, dissected them up, and made an all new Frankenstein of love stories. And like a typical love story, it can also get overly cheesy, so if you're allergic to that kinda bullshit, bring a barfbag. Or get wasted first.

The pacing of the movie can get a little draggy sometimes. Get by it quickly by pissing off your neighbour with your in depth knowledge of Malay songs.*

Some of the acting was so stiff it killed the flow of the story and the whole emotion of the moment. They are hot no doubt, but they looked so similar as if they were mass produced from a factory in China one can easily mistake a character for another, like what happened to Suanie - who got confused with one girl for another.

Seriously though, enough of the the damn twin towers already. Nothing else to see in KL is it? I'm bloody sick of seeing those 2 ugly pieces of metal jagung after every 10 fucking minutes (exaggerated). Isn't it enough we see it like fucking EVERYWHERE all the FUCKING TIME? Billboards. Magazines. TV. Movie Screens. Newspapers. Which freaking media channel hasn't raped and overexposed the twin tower like it's Amber Chia (not exaggerated)? Cliche giler babi.

I absolutely REFUSE to accept that I still have gripes about the quality of production. I'm not sure if it was the cinema's fault, but seriously the imperfections of the audio can get very annoying. Bits of conversations get chopped off, sometimes completely disappears - you see the actor's mouth moving - but it's silent and then you're like WHAH? What did the fucker say? Sure it's probably nothing significant but still! Is it too much to ask for good audio? Sometimes conversations are clearly DUBBED - Annoying! Why can't they record the sound DURING the take? A lot of effort has been put into the quality of production - but it is still NOT ON PAR with international standards. Why should we still be complaining about the quality of AV, TODAY? WHY?

{begin rant}
You know what what else? I'm damn fed up with out country losing out to freaking Thailand and Indonesia in the movie industry in terms of quality of production. WE are the ones with the fucking Twin Towers for fuck sakes. With the KL Tower. With the longest suspension bridge. With the most idiotic records ever created in the history of mankind. So don't fucking tell me we don't fucking have the technology or the people with the necessary know-how to create a decent watchable movie with a decent level of acceptable audiovisual quality GODDAMNIT!
{end rant}

Not saying it was horrible in Cinta or anything. But it could be better lah, ya know.

Kesimpulannya.
All in all, I'll still say it's a good watch. Definitely one of the better movies out this year. It's ridiculous how much shit they pass out for movies this year, both internationally and locally.

Watch it when it's out on 30 November! Cinta IS worth your 10 bucks!

Other inanities.
-It freaking awesome when the producers (Hello Tengku!) actually recognised who you are and gives you a shout out just before the preview in front of the entire cinema-watching crowd. It's like having an incredible orgasm after an awesome wank. In public. Except without the mess and the jail part.

-Ally Iskandar is the hottest local emcee I've ever set my eyes on. With the sexiest voice evAr. I really wanted to camwhore with him so badly... but shy lah. And too sober. Sigh. Bad camwhore. :( I think I'm in love. Please, your number. I want. We MaKe FrIeNd OkAY~~??//?

-It's interesting to note that out of the 200 odd seats available, only about 10 were occupied by yellow coloured arses.

*For some odd reason, Suanie, KY and myself thought it was most appropriate to start showing casing our in depth knowledge of Malay songs just before the movie. KRU, Jamal Abdillah, Search, Sudirman - semua masuk. Man, you can NEVER take us anywhere without muffs. And a tranquilizer gun.

Thanks for the invite, sultan. More please! I absolutely LIVE for free shit.

More:
Cinta. The website.
The Suan was there!
KY was there too!
Budiey writes a less ganas review.
Mimpi Pari loved it.
Lyanna cried a lot.

Sunday, November 12, 2006

Marco Plays With His Pasta

Somewhere around the planet, a Rafflesia blooms, a male praying mantis is getting his head lobbed off by his female counterpart mid-coitus, a drunk crashes his car into a curb, a PC hangs rendering an underpaid overworked employee to stab himself on the jugular with a pencil, chalk written words are being wiped off a classroom blackboard, a child discovered his dad's stash of midget fetish pornography.... and a chef makes a visit to an alien country to promote his cook book.

So...

This is Stephen.

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Stephen takes solid pictures.
Stephen invited me for a free makan.
Stephen is great.

This is Marco.

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Marco owns a pasta restaurant in Switzerland.
Marco cooked for us very, very tasty pasta.
Marco is great.

Marco was at the Seri Pacific hotel for a few weeks to promote his pasta and cookbook. A few of us were fortunate enough to be invited for a tasting and a meet & greet session with this Italian chef. He cooked 4 types of pasta for us that night. 2 creamy types, and 2 tomato based types.

These pastas had several interesting ingredients one would never ever think of putting in.

Tumeric prawns?
Bak choy?
Soy sprouts?
SUGAR IN CHEESE?
He must be mad!
He's gonna mutate into a hairy green monster and EAT US ALL!
RUN!

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To my utter surprise they were absolutely yummilicious! My favourite dish was the vegetarian bak choy and soy sprouts pasta because of its distinct tangy tomato flavoured sauce - and this is coming from a carnivore.

Marco was saying that he usually puts in a healthy dash of white wine into his cooking to bring out the aroma of his sauces, but he wasn't allowed to do so in Malaysia since it's a Muslim country and all that and wouldn't want to risk having his hands chopped off by the authorities or something. Sigh. Spoilsports.

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As Italian pasta is meant to be more dry, the Swiss-based chef mentioned that it is unusual for him to drench his pasta in that much sauce, and only does so specially in Malaysia as he noticed that the local people seem to like their food to be literally swimming in sauce. Yes. Please. Flood plate. With Sauce. We Like. A lot. I heard that our esophagus has mutated in such a way that when it comes into contact with even a single atom of DRY FOOD, it implodes. I wouldn't know this for a fact though, and I dare not risk trying to find it out myself.

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The new cookbook itself is lovely piece of work. His adventures around the world has inspired him to create a fusion of East meet West recipes (OMG! Petai in Pasta!). Regular recipes are even modified with a couple of exotic ingredients to give it the extra OOMPH! His cook book, a 10 year dream in fruition, is a collection of some of those interesting recipes.

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Malaysia was his first cook book promo pit stop. Why Malaysia? He said that it's because Malaysia had so such a mind boggling array of food which makes it all the more easier to introduce his original pasta recipes to her people.

Which, I think, is a pretty diplomatic and subtle way of saying: You are a bunch of pigs that'll eat anydamnthing that's thrown to you.

Hahaha I kid. He didn't mean that at all.

But we ARE pigs, are we not?

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I went through the book and I must say, for a lack of a better word, it is simple yet beautiful. Every page is filled with explosion of colours from the beautifully taken pictures of people, places and food. The recipes are easy enough for any kitchen retard to follow, I mean how much can you fuck up PASTA? The ingredients are also easily available locally and don't necessarily cost an arm, a leg and your first newborn, which is a good thing. The other nice thing is that the entire book itself was produced IN Malaysia.

*bangga*
*sudden bout of patriotism*
*proceeds to stand up to sing the Negaraku*
*quickly sits down again upon really weird looks from mum*

The 68 paged book will be made available soon in major bookstores for about RM40 something.

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Marco also plans to open a restaurant some time next year. And this time, he promises that there will be WINE in his food.

YEAY!


Others:
KYSpeaks - without whom I wouldn't have gotten an invite.
Kel Li & Natalie - who brings the term "camwhore" into a whole new level.
Food Lover - who gave us a ride because we are too poor to afford our own.

Wednesday, November 8, 2006

Ink Blot Test

I have a routine at work. As soon as I come into the office I do the following in order:

1. Switch on computer.
2. Log in.
3. Wash mug in pantry
4. Pour water into mug.
5. Drink water.
6. Moisturise hands.
7. Work work.

Every morning, while doing one of the routine activities, I'm also greeted by this... thing which reminds me of something else completely out of place and it really amuses me. So this morning I decided to snap a couple of pictures of it to share my amusement with all five of you.

ink blot

Everytime I look at this thing and blur my eyes a little, all I see are images of naked women in all sorts of sexual positions.

It's a piece of the pantry's ceiling by the way.

Here, a closer look.

ink blot 2

Freud will have a lot to say about my mind, I think. Or the state of my deprivation.

Please tell me you see it too. Do you see it? Do you? DO YOU?

Friday, November 3, 2006

Young At Heart. And Mind.

Herro.
I am FA.
I am 26.
I read children's books.

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Herro.
This is my sister.
She is 14.
She reads timeless classics.

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Herro.
I am FA.
I am VERY young at heart.
And mind.


My sister is sitting next to me as I'm updating this post.

"What? Is that all you're posting about? 2 pictures and 10 words?"

"Yeahhh...."

"Just to show how much you suck?"

"Er. Yeah."

"OKaaayyyy....."

*Goes back to doing her own thing. Like find the cure for cancer or something*

Sigh.

Guess I'm not winning the Best Elder Sister Award this year.

*Sister looks over my shoulder*

"Well, you did buy me that book!"

Oh. Then I suppose I'm still eligible for it after all. :)

Whee! Happy weekend all!